Lucas
by lduff17
Summary: When Sara stumbles across Lindsey being attacked by a group of men she comes to the rescue only to be attacked herself. With Sara missing the team do all they can to find her but will they be successful? and how will the team cope with the ordeal?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N.** Hi, this is my first fanfic so I hope it's okay. I've tried to remove as many mistakes as possible but sorry for any I missed. Let me know if there are any to fix. I know how annoying it is reading a story with bad spelling and grammar getting in the way. But I should warn you I am from Scotland so a lot of mistakes in my story may be down to my Britishness, so sorry again I hope you enjoy the story however. This should be quite a long story in the end but I will update regularly.

**Disclaimer.** I own nothing but my 18th is coming up so if anyone felt like buying me a really nice present (wink wink) ...

**Lucas**

**Chapter one**

Sara was sitting in the break room with Catherine and the guys reading the latest forensic journal and waiting for assignments from Grissom. It was a relatively normal start to the shift. Greg and Nick were arguing over which team were going to win the football league this season, Warrick was sitting with them casually putting in the odd comment but more preoccupied with stealing the odd glance across the room at Catherine while she read one of her 'glamour mags' as Sara likes to call them.

Sara turned on to an interesting looking article about DNA profiling just as Grissom walked in. Making a mental note to read it later she turned round to give her full attention to her boss.

"Full plate today guys, we're going to need to divide and conquer. Nick you have a B&E gone wrong in Henderson, Warrick you take the 419 along the I15 and take Greg with you, Catherine arson on the strip and Sara you have an armed robbery at a local convenience store. I have paper work to catch up on but if any of you need help call." He looked around the room to make sure no one had any objections to their tasks for the night and turned to leave.

Slowly everyone shuffled out of the room and headed to their crime scenes for the evening. Sara was shattered with only 2 hours sleep the night before but stopped off for a Starbucks on the way to the scene.

Walking back to her car with her coffee Sara heard some jeering and a muffled scream coming from somewhere nearby. She checked for her weapon in her holster, her coffee now abandoned on top of a nearby wastebasket and made her way round to the side of the building. Half way down the alley way stood a group of four well built men tormenting a smaller figure that was obscured from Sara's view. She knew she should call for back up but her adrenaline and need to help the victim overruled her training and she approached the group, her hand firmly on her holster in case she needed to use force to subdue the situation. As she got closer she recognised the victim as Lindsey Willows, the 15 year old daughter of her colleague Catherine. Panic began to rise in Sara but she fought to control it and quickened her pace towards the group.

"Stop what you're doing!" Sara shouted. The men didn't respond so she drew her weapon and yelled "LVPD, stop what you're doing and step away from the girl!" the men turned around.

"Well what do we have here then" one of the men jeered. The rest of the men chuckled in support and Sara decided this guy must be the leader of the pack. Now that Sara could see their faces she saw they were in their early twenties and that two wore UNLV tops.

"Look, just step away from the girl, you don't want any more trouble for yourselves" Sara stated with as much confidence as she could muster. She desperately tried to remember what she had been taught in training about dealing with dangerous suspects but she was scared for Lindsey, and for herself too to be honest as the leader of the pack had started edging towards her.

"And who are you to tell us want we do or do not want" the leader snapped.

Just then the man who had addressed her leapt towards her menacingly with his fist raised ready to strike. She fired her weapon impulsively and nicked her attackers left arm with the bullet. He screamed out and backed off.

This did not deter his cronies however. They let go of Lindsey and surrounded Sara. She knew she was unable to fight them all at once but she was going to give it her best shot. She screamed at Lindsey to run for help before firing her weapon again.

At this closer range she didn't miss her intended target on her opposer's body and sent him to the ground with a thud. Her luck ended there however as she was grabbed from behind by one of the men while the other came towards her with his fist raised. A searing pain shot through her face as she was struck constantly. The taste of iron alerted her she was bleeding. Her attacker then started on her abdomen. She could feel the sickening snap of her ribs she was pounded with the man's fists. She was now struggling to breath and could feel the welcoming darkness approaching. The leader of the pack had now recovered enough from his arm wound to get to his feet and approach her. He went for her gun that now lay discarded on the ground nearby. He aimed for her head and removed the safety. The last thought Sara had before she lost consciousness was that she was never going to get round to reading her DNA profiling article after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the reviews so far they have been a strong encouragement.

**Chapter 2**

Her blood was pounding in her head as her feet hammered the ground beneath her. Lindsey kept running. She just kept running trying to get as far from those monsters as possible. Her fear for Sara was agonising but she couldn't stop running. She knew she should stop and call the police but she couldn't in case her attackers were nearby still.

She eventually recognised her surroundings and realised that she had subconsciously been running towards the crime lab, towards her mother and towards a sanctuary. She suddenly halted outside the lab. What was her mother going to say? Their relationship had never been steady. Would she blame Lindsey for what had happened to her co-worker? Was it her fault? Lindsey wondered. Lindsey shook off her fears knowing they were unfounded and she was ashamed that anything had stopped her getting help for Sara immediately. She ran through the main entrance.

...

Grissom was flicking through the paper work on his desk. This was the worst part of his job; he envied his team who were out in the field solving the puzzles he wished were his to solve. He was just signing off a report written by Warrick on a 419 earlier than week when his cell rang.

"Grissom" he answered without checking his caller ID.

"Gil, its Jim. Sara hasn't made it to her crime scene yet and she isn't answering her phone"

Grissom's face fell. This was very unlike Sara who was almost always punctual with her work. If a problem had arisen she would definitely have phoned.

"She left over half an hour ago Jim. Isn't your scene only a ten minute drive from here?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm worried. She hasn't phoned you, has she?"

"No. Listen there is a loud commotion going on outside my office. I need to go see what's wrong. Give her another ten minutes and try her cell and pager again. If she doesn't get there by then contact Ecklie to get someone from days or swing to cover for Sara and then come back to the crime lab and we'll work out what to do."

"Ok, Gil. Call me if you hear from her"

"Will do" Grissom replied and hung up making his way to the door.

...

Lindsey flew frantically through the lab in a desperate search for anyone she recognised. Suddenly she spotted Judy at the reception. She felt reassured. Judy had always been nice to her when she had spent evenings here as a child. As she calmed down she remembered the urgency of the situation and started trying to tell the young women what had happened.

"Men... starbucks... out of nowhere... got to help... please" Lindsey gasped trying to get her message across despite her shortness of breath.

"Lindsey sweetie, what happened to your face you need to see a doctor" Judy replied concerned.

"No. You got to help Sara please!" by this point Grissom had made his way into the corridor.

Grabbing the young girls shoulders Grissom looked her in the face "Lindsey, calm down. What has happened to Sara?" the bruises now forming on Lindsey's face deeply worried him to what the two young ladies had endured.

"They came out of nowhere Uncle Gil. I tried to fight but there were four of them. Sara found us. They started to attack her. She told me to run. I couldn't help her. I'm sorry" by this point Lindsey was sobbing into Grissom's shirt.

"Judy, phone Catherine tell her to get back here immediately" Grissom ordered. He guided the young girl who he had considered a daughter back to his office as he pulled out his cell to phone Brass. "Lindsey you need to tell me where Sara found you."

"In the alleyway behind starbucks about two blocks from here" Lindsey replied in a soft whimper.

"Thank you Lindsey" Grissom replied putting a comforting arm around her as he hit the speed dial for Brass.

"Gil, have you heard from her?" Brass answered with no preamble.

"Jim I have Lindsey here. She was attacked tonight and Sara found her. Lindsey got away but the perps started on Sara. I need you to get down to the Starbucks near here asap. Bring some officers with you and some paramedics!" Grissom barked down the phone and he hung up. All he could do was wait now as the gravity of the situation started to fully dawn on him. Had Sara got out? What was Brass going to find in the alleyway? Sara was going to be okay wasn't she? What if she wasn't? What is she was killed by those men? Grissom stopped there. He refused to believe it. It was impossible. It couldn't happen! Not to Sara! Not _his_ Sara!

...

"WHERE IS SHE? WHERE'S LINDSEY?"" Catherine was yelling as she flew through the hallway of the lab. Thundering into Grissom's office she enveloped a terrified Lindsey into a massive hug.

"Lindsey, what happened to you? All Judy could tell was you showed up here hysterical and in a state saying something about an attack? Are you okay? We need to get you to the hospital! Gil why haven't you taken her there! Or to Doc Robbins downstairs? What's going on Gil?" Catherine rambled her voice getting more and more high pitched as she went on.

"Catherine calm down. I would have got Lindsey medical attention soon. She only just got here. I needed to phone Brass first. Lindsey was attacked tonight by a group of men. Sara found them and got Lindsey out of there. I've sent Brass to see what's going on. Get Lindsey to a hospital and I'll meet you there once I find out what's happening with Sara."Grissom explained.

Just then Grissom's phone rang. It was Brass.

"Gil..." Jim said with a shaky voice.

"Jim what's going on? Is Sara okay?"

"Gil you've got to send some of your team down here immediately. There's blood. Lots. And we have a body."

Grissom's heart dropped to his knees.

"It's not Sara, Gil. It's a male. He was shot. But not all this blood could be his. There's drag marks. Someone's been moved, Gil. You've got to come down here. Bring your team. We need to find her, Gil, we've got to find Sara. She's gone."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

As Sara opened her eyes she realised she was still in the alleyway, lying on the ground in a pool of blood. She tried to move but an agonising pain in her chest stopped her. Her breathing was shallow as to not irritate the wound that she could only assume was from the gun that was fired moments before she fell unconscious.

It was then that she heard the voices that alerted her she was not alone in this alleyway.

"What are we going to do now Ryan?"

"Shut it. Shhh. Wait while I try to think!"

"Well thinking obviously did you well a moment ago! I thought the deal was we helped you harass that Willows kid and that was all! I'm not getting pulled down for this, Ryan!"

"I SAID SHUT IT JOHN! She killed Ian, the bitch deserved a bullet in her chest!"Taking some deep breaths Ryan continued, "Right, ok. Emm... David go and check she's definitely dead. Go!" As Ryan was the one giving orders and that he had practically admitted to shooting her Sara assumed he was the leader of the pack from before.

Slowly and nervously one of the men approached Sara, David she presumed. Upon noticing she was conscious he kept his cool and bent down and went through the motions of checking whether she was alive. With a last look in to her pleading eyes David knew what he had to do.

"She's dead, Ryan" he stated in a low voice.

"Oh shit. SHIT! What are we going to do now?" Ryan exclaimed. "Right, John come with me and we'll bring the cars around. We'll dump her by Lake Meade. Ryan stay with her!" And with that the two other men left the alleyway.

Sara had started to lose consciousness by this point but was vaguely aware of the man trying to apply pressure to her gunshot wound.

...

The next time Sara awoke she was in the back of an old truck obviously not built for off-roading as her pounding head reminded her.

Peering into the front seats, trying not to be noticed she saw the young man who had covered for her telling the leader she was dead, David she thinks his name was. She was not sure why this was a good thing yet; maybe if she let them finish the job it would save her from whatever her ordeal was about to become. However the instinct to survive was stronger and she just hoped she would be able to get out of this mess.

She was already loosing a large amount of blood and she was not sure she would make it much longer. She immediately stopped that train of thought in her head. She had full confidence Grissom would find her. The same applied for the team; over the years she had began to think of them as the family that she was deprived of as a kid and she trusted them with her life. She knew they would do everything in their power to find her; she just had to hold on long enough. She knew she had to play her part and meet the team half way.

The other man in the front seat was not the man she shot, but she remembered with a pang of guilt that Ryan had said she had killed someone. It was self defence but it did not make her feel better about taking a life. The man was not the leader Ryan himself either so by process of elimination she figured this man must be John, the other name mentioned in the alleyway.

A moment later her suspicions were confirmed as the men started to discuss their situation.

"Thanks for covering for me back there, John" David started

"Don't mention it, David . Ryan was more than happy with the suggestion that he leave and we deal with her, what a coward he's probably half way to the Nevada border by now! Plus I don't want to be brought down for murder either. Did you see the back of her jacket? She's a cop!" His common mistake made Sara want to laugh despite her dire situation. "Her death would have us on death row"

"How did you know I was lying to Ryan?"

"Simple. If she were actually dead you would have freaked out!"

"What are we going to do man?" David sighed

"I don't know. You're pre-med. Once we get far enough away from the centre of the city you should check her over. She's losing a lot of blood and we don't want her dying on us or we may as well as turn ourselves in for murder anyway."

"Do you really think we're going to get off with this, John?"

"Yes David! Trust me. It was Ryan that was shot; it's his blood on the crime scene and his fingerprints on the cop's gun! They won't find any evidence of us being part of it. If they find hair or anything like that they won't have anything to match it with, unlike Ryan we don't have records!"

"But what if he does get caught and he turns us in?"

"I never thought of that. Aagh this is such a mess! I was only helping him out with this to help towards my fraternity pledge. He just said we were going to mess that Willows brat around a bit to teach her a lesson for rejecting him when he tried to get her into bed last month. I never thought it was going to go this far!" with a sudden surge of worry overwhelmed Sara as she remembered Lindsey was also there in the alleyway. She just hoped Lindsey got away in time. If the two Willows women were reunited tonight then Sara felt this ordeal would be worth it.

"At least the kid doesn't know our names. She won't be able to turn us in. And maybe Ryan will keep his mouth shut. He knows we know too much. If we told the cops everything he gets up to we could double his sentence. That's if he isn't going down for murder already!"

"Maybe David. I definitely hope so! Doesn't solve our immediate problem though. What are we going to do with her" John said as he pointed his thumb back towards Sara.

"We can pull over in about 5 minutes. By then we'll be a decent distance from the city. Unlikely anyone will be watching. I'll check over then and try and stop the bleeding. After that we could go to my family's cabin in the mountains. Wait there until we sort out what to do next." David suggested.

"Okay sounds like the best plan we've got" john agreed. "We'll have to ditch the car at some point too. It's covered in blood. Thank goodness it's stolen."

Sara was apprehensive now. It had become obvious they were not intending to kill her but it was just as obvious that they were not going to let her walk away. Sara was not scared of many things but she knew the foreseeable future was not going to be easy. She began to pray to a god she had never believed in nor cared for that Grissom would find her, and soon. Even just so she could tell him how she felt. She hoped her prophecy was not coming true. She prayed it was not too late for them. Comforting thoughts of Grissom searching for her were Sara's last thoughts as she accepted the oncoming darkness.

**AN.** Sorry it was not as Sara centric as I hoped but I needed to explain what was going on with our bad guys and paint the picture there. The story will become more character based soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Catherine sat outside her daughter's hospital room. Lindsey was going to stay the night as a precaution. She was understandably in shock from the evening's events but physically Lindsey had suffered no more than some bad bruising. Catherine remembered who she had to thank for her daughters escape and fought hard to hold back her tears of gratitude and fear for Sara's safety. Her relationship with Sara had never been plain sailing but she deeply cared for her and she felt Sara knew this. After what Sara had done tonight however Catherine knew that she would always be indebted to her younger co-worker. While waiting to be allowed back into her daughter's room she thought over the last couple of hours.

_Back in Grissom's office_

_... We need to find her, Gil; we've got to find Sara. She's gone."_

_Grissom hung up the phone and stood still staring at a blank piece of wall at the other side of the office. His face was transfixed into a look of shock. He did not hear Catherine begging him to tell her what was going on or Lindsey's haggard breathing against her mother's shirt. This couldn't be happening! Not to his team! Not to his Sara! She had once told him it would be too late when he finally realised what he wanted from their relationship and he feared her prediction would be becoming true prematurely. He knew he couldn't loose control now. Not when she needed him most. For missing person cases time is of the essence and Sara's clock was ticking. _

_He turned to Catherine._

"_Take Lindsey to the hospital. I will send Greg down to gather evidence from her clothing and take a statement." _

_Catherine nodded. "Okay. Griss who was that on the phone?" she asked with trepidation._

"_It was Brass." Grissom replied. Knowing Catherine would ask for elaboration he continued, "We found the scene of the attack. Jim found a body..."_

_With this revelation Lindsey wailed into her mother's shirt and started to pound her chest. Mentally kicking himself for his stupidity and realising how that must have sounded to Lindsey he quickly corrected his statement._

"_It's ok Linds. It wasn't Sara. It was a male. One of your attacker's maybe?" Lindsey nodded. _

"_Look Lindsey" Grissom continued. "Sara is now missing. We are going to need you to tell us everything. Do you have any idea where Sara could be right now?"_

_Lindsey shook her head._

"_Alright. Do you know who your attackers were?"_

_Lindsey hesitated. Still clinging to her mother she looked to her for comfort._

_Catherine guided Lindsey to the couch and knelt down in front of her. Looking directly in to her daughter's eyes she saw fear and guilt. "Sweetie. Please tell us. I won't get mad, I swear. I am just so happy to have you back safe in my arms. When I got the phone call that you were in trouble all the worse possibilities were running through my head." Catherine's voice broke over her last words as she remembered the pain the phone call had caused her. "I will never be able to repay Sara for the present she gave me tonight but another family is going to receive the same phone call I received telling them what happened to Sara. They are going to be terrified, honey. We need to make sure their family is reunited too."_

_Grissom did not feel the need to correct Catherine. Although Sara had no family in the manner Catherine had meant, telling the rest of her lab family was going to be just as bad._

_Catherine continued, "Please sweetie. Who were those men?"_

_Lindsey took a deep breath and told her story. "I'm so sorry mum. You told me not to go to that party. The one Chelsea wanted me to go to. I should've listened. I snuck out that night. I went to the party. I met a boy called Ryan there. I don't know his surname. He came on to me. I told I wasn't interested. He was angry. He didn't like rejection. Especially not in front of his friends. I was scared mum. I just came home. Tonight they found me again. They told me they were going to teach me a lesson. They grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. They started throwing punches. That's when Sara arrived. I'm sorry. It's my fault..."_

_By this point both women were in tears and holding each other. _

_Grissom went to comfort Lindsey, "Thank you darling for telling us. This is not your fault. And don't you dare think that for a second. This is the fault of those sick monsters. We will get Sara back. I promise. You came and got help. We couldn't have asked for more." Turning to Catherine he added. "Take Lindsey to the hospital. Some of those brusies look bad. After that take Lindsey home and cherish her. I'm not letting you work this case. You are too involved. Maybe further down the line but for now just take care of your daughter."_

_Catherine nodded. Stood up and supported her daughter out of the office._

Back at the hospital...

A nurse came out and told Catherine her daughter was settled into and observation room and should be able to go home the next morning. Catherine thanked her and headed into lindseys room. The sight of her daughter on the bed made her want to cry. She looked so small and frightened. Catherine crossed the room in 3 large strides and gathered her daughter in her arms. Someone would be coming later for evidence and a statement but for now it was just the two Willows women. Catherine held her daughter and swore nothing would ever threaten her again.

**AN**originally this chapter was going to include the boys reactions and processing the scene but I'll put that in the next chapter. I was getting tired and I've got to go get ready for going out tonight. I might update again tonight but if not tomorrow. But remember for a lot of people I've heard from who read this our time zones are well out. I'm in the UK so it is evening now for me but probably midday for you. For me tomorrow is sooner than for you. Updates may be coming in the middle of the night for Americans. No idea I couldn't be bothered working it out but I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

**AN2 **Also I worked it out this story will be probably 40 chapters long but it may become longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Grissom pulled up to the crime scene tape Brass had erected. He had paged Nick, Greg and Warrick to meet him at the location and told them it was urgent. He was yet to tell them why it was so important. There was a strong smell of iron in the air as he exited his Tahoe. The feeling in the pit of his stomach worsened. It would take a lot of blood to create an odour that overpowering. Just then two Tahoes pulled up behind him, Nick in one and Warrick and Greg in the other.

"What's the rush boss?" Greg quipped as he strode up to where Grissom was standing.

"Yeah, I was on a roll!" Nick chimed in good spiritedly.

Grissom turned to face what would be his team for the remainder of the night. He felt a strong sense of dread towards the conversation he was about to have to have.

Warrick cottoned on first to the look of anguish on Grissom's face.

"Is something wrong Griss?"

"Umm... I don't really know how to say this but Sara is missing, guys."

Shock rippled between the men. A chorus of whats and hows came from the group with stark looks of fear all faces.

"Earlier this evening I got a phone call from Brass saying Sara failed to arrive at their crime scene. Moments later Lindsey came to the lab hysterical. She was attacked tonight. Sara found her as the attack was in progress and managed to get Lindsey out of there. The perps then went after Sara though." Grissom was now struggling to maintain is composure. "I sent Brass to check the scene out but she was gone by the time he got there."

"Those bastards!" Warrick whistled.

Nick aimed a ferocious kick at the wheel of his car and Greg just stood in shock. Sara had been like a sister to all three of them.

"I know, but all we can do for Sara now is to find out where these monsters have taken her. She needs us to keep focused and get her back. Greg you meet Lindsey and Catherine at Desert Palms and collect a statement. She already told me the name of one of them was Ryan but we don't have a surname. They met at a party but he was coming on to her too much. Find out more about the party, where it was and whether anyone saw what went on. After that find out as much as you can about our perps. Nick and Warrick you come help me process the scene." Everyone could see that Grissom was struggling to keep his cool.

With a silent nod Greg turned and headed back to the Tahoe thankful for the privacy of the car journey to deal with what he just heard.

Warrick and Nick followed Grissom up the alleyway. Brass filled them in.

"We have an Ian Winters here, according to his driving licence" Brass told them in a passive voice. "Bullet wound to the chest, probable cause of death. The bullet is still to be matched to the gun but it is probably from the one we found by the dumpster. Looks like a standard issue. Maybe Sara put up a good fight" Brass smiled proudly at the thought.

"Thanks Jim." Turning to Nick and Warrick Grissom continued. "Ok, Nick why don't you go to the coroner and see what we know about this guy. Warrick you collect the gun Brass mentioned then start with photos." Both men left with their assigned jobs.

Grissom looked around trying to assess what had happened to Sara from where Lindsey's account had left off.

Further up the alley from the body he saw a small black handbag. Taking out a new pair of gloves he looked inside to see Lindsey's learners permit. So this is where the incident had started. He placed the bag into a clear plastic evidence pocket.

Back with the body he started to consider the blood patterns. There was the obvious pool around the body but no splatter, so he knew the bullet had remained in the body.

Slightly behind the body however he saw a trail of blood drops as if the person shot had only incurred a flesh wound. They lay at the wrong angle to be from the first body. The thought that Sara had caused damage to another of her attackers made Grissom smile. It also meant that they had the DNA of another attacker. He took a swab of the blood after taking a photo.

He now approached the blood patch that he had been dreading. At the other side of the alleyway from the body lay another separate pool of blood and leading away from that pool of blood were drag marks. They suddenly stopped, suggesting the 'body' had been lifted. Grissom refused to think of Sara as the victim. It was too painful. Although he knew the answer he took a swab of blood to confirm its owner.

Warrick, Nick and Grissom combed the scene for another two hours and found a few hairs mattifyed in the blood. They could only hope this would give them enough for an ID and then a clue to where Sara may be.

**AN.** Sorry this took longer than promised. I had trouble writing this chapter. It just didn't feel right. I will add a bit more depth and emotion at some point but I wanted to focus on Grissom.

I'm also beginning to second guess myself on this story. I had a plan that I had been thinking about for a while but I'm not sure if it's too unrealistic. I think I'm going to just go with it for now because I've been wanting to get it off my chest but I will right some more normal ones afterwards. I have lots of ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A screaming pain awoke Sara.

"There's too much blood, John. I can't do anything! We need to take her to a hospital!"

"NO! I'm not going down for murder! I'm not!"

Sara let out a low moan.

"Shut it you!" John barked.

"Don't you care about her life? She could die if we don't help her! Please. If she gets help she may not die. It may not be murder. We helped her get away. They may even thank us for helping her."

"Yeah they'll be giving us the key to the city." John replied sarcastically. "You still held her down as I pounded my fists into her. That's assault! And what if she dies at the hospital? We never stopped Ryan. We are still accomplices!"

"I'd rather spend my life in jail knowing I didn't let her die than live with the knowledge she died because of me! We're already in too deep. Let's get out while we can, before we lose control! Please John!"

"NO! You will not turn me in! Fix her! You don't want me to make you, do you?"

David turned back to Sara and done all he could. The bullet was in too deep; there was no way he would be capable of removing it without killing Sara.

"Don't worry. I'll get you out of here." David murmured too low for John to hear. Sara didn't feel reassured by his promise. John was dangerous, panicking and presumably armed. He was no longer thinking straight and was probably soon going to do something drastic.

"I need something to patch up the hole. I can't remove the bullet but if I can stop the bleeding she may have a chance."

"Ok, I'll see what I can find in the glove box."

"Where am I?" Sara gasped

"On a road west of Vegas, on the back seat of a car we picked up. What's your name?" David whispered.

"Sara Sidle"

Just ten they were interrupted.

"The owners of the car must be boy scouts, always prepared. They had a first aid kit in the front." John smiled.

"Ok I'll see what I can do" David answered.

"Yes you will" John warned.

David mopped up around the wound the best he could then sprayed some of the antiseptic liquid around it.

"AAagh" Sara gurgled. It felt like fire was burning through her chest.

"Sorry"

After this he found some super glue in the kit and used it to close the wound the best he could. It was all he could do for her with his limited knowledge of medicine especially in emergency circumstances. David feared it would not be enough. He tried to appeal to John again.

"Ok I've tidied her up the best I can but she needs hospital John."

"And I've already told you no!"

"What if she was alright and didn't need emergency treatment? What would you do then? We have to turn ourselves in sooner or later. Do you plan on keeping her?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know. She'll turn us in if we give her up. We can't give her back!"

"You're not making any sense John" David turned, pulled out his phone and dialled 911.

"911. What is your emergency?"

"I have a wounded woman here. Sara Sidle. She's been shot."

The next thing the emergency operator heard was a gunshot.

**AN. O**k. I know some of you will think this chapter is stupidly unrealistic but it's the best I can do. So far this story is only the means to getting to the bigger of part of the story. I had the start planned, and the middle and end planned but I never realised the transition between start and middle was not going to work. I used Lindsey to get a strong Catherine/Sara perspective; it wasn't originally part of the plan but I will keep the Willows family near the front of the story because people seem to like them (and I like them in a story too). So yeah. Sorry if this doesn't make sense but it's only the beginning and the story takes off from here. But you have been warned! My imagination is weird!

AN. This is my first fanfic so I promise I won't make as many mistakes after this. I'm learning. Now I sound like I'm making excuses! Sorry

AN. Please review I never understood before why writers liked reviews so much but now I get it. Even 'constructive criticism' is good. But please don't be nasty. Everyone's been really nice so far but I'm scared of the first bad review. I'll take advice but there no need to be mean.

Following chapters will be longer. Promise


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Grissom had just arrived back at the lab when Brass came bounding past him.

"What is it Jim? Is it Sara?"

"Yes. I got the call from dispatch. Someone said they have an injured Sara Sidle with them. But they also heard gunshots on the phone Gil"

Grissom raced out the door with Brass leaving Nick and Warrick standing further down the corridor perplexed.

"What happened there?" Warrick asked.

"We're not sure. Maybe they have a lead on Sara?" Nick replied.

After a moment's thought Warrick stated with a voice calmer than he felt, "Maybe, but they are dealing with that. As much as I want to follow them and see Sara safe we don't know if that's even what's going on. Or if it is, whether it means anything. The best we can do for her right now is get this evidence processed. See if we can find any more clues to where she is."

"Yeah, I suppose. I just hope it wasn't bad news about Lindsey either. She better be okay. And Catherine must feel awful at the moment." Nick worried.

"Yeah I know," Warrick replied, "this whole thing is a horrible mess. We need to find Sara soon. The team needs her. What if..." his voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

...

Grissom's head was a mess. They heard gunshots. Had the caller killed her off? But then why did they call in the first place? Had someone else shot the caller perhaps? Maybe they didn't want us to find them. It was a rash move if that was the case. It made him worry that her captors would do now. Their chances of finding Sara alive were decreasing rapidly. He hoped this lead would help them find her.

They were in Brass' car speeding towards where they had traced the call

"How far away is this place, Jim?" Grissom asked impatiently.

"About another ten minutes. I'll try doing it in five though" Jim replied adamantly. The thought of the girl he considered a daughter in peril was a difficult one to bare.

...

Greg arrived back at the lab flustered having just heard Lindsey's account of what had happened. He had kept up his facade in front of her but he had found the story upsetting. His hopes of finding Sara were beginning to deflate. These people sounded fearless and reckless and that was always dangerous. He had found out Sara had warned them to back off but they continued anyway despite being aware she was law enforcement. They were also young so had a lot to lose by being caught. He hoped they could make the right decision. They needed to find Sara soon.

The others better have had more luck at the scene, Greg thought. He had not managed to collect any useful finger nail scrapings and had not discovered anymore information other than what Grissom had told him and that they were from UNLV or at least the party was held there. But there were thousands of people at that university and many of them named Ryan. His next plan was to investigate further into the party and see if he could determine a Ryan fitting the profile that had attended. But where to start? He could always interview Lindsey's friend Chelsea. See what she knew?

First he decided to go check on the others and see what they had found out. He found Nick and Warrick hovering by a computer.

"What's going on?" Greg asked

Nick turned round to meet him.

"We have good news and bad news. There were two pools of blood at the scene, one belonging to the body. The second was unidentified at first but we got the results saying it was Sara's." Nick informed Greg with a rueful sigh. "However there were more blood patterns not feasibly belonging to either Sara or the body. We are running them for a match now. Hopefully it will give us a lead."

"So Sara fought back?" Greg almost pleaded.

"Looks likes it" Warrick replied with a smile.

...

Grissom and Brass pulled up to the swarm of police and paramedic lights.

Upon seeing a body Grissom screamed and fell to the ground in tears. Brass looked helplessly at his friend as is heart also began to pound violently. He went to find out what was going on.

He saw David leaning over the DB. It was male. It wasn't Sara. It wasn't Sara!

Brass ran back to Grissom.

"It's ok Gil. It's not Sara. The body's male! There's still a chance."

Grissom looked up shocked by what he had heard. After mulling over the news for a moment words were still beyond him but he collected his kit and went to his scene, determined to do the one thing he knew he could to help Sara.

He looked around. There was no sign of Sara. He saw the DB on the ground by David. There were tire marks leading away from the scene. Well at least they had a vague direction to where they were heading, it was better than nothing. He told Brass to send out an APB and then got to work.

...

"Lindsey has filled me in to the point where the men started to attack Sara. What happened after?"

Nick filled him in on the conclusions that he, Warrick and Grissom had reached.

"So it doesn't look good" Greg growled wanting to strangle the attackers with his bare hands.

Neither the men answered, not wanting to admit that it was beginning to feel more like a homicide than a missing persons. The scene had not given them much reason to believe Sara could still be alive.

After another five minutes waiting on the results in which time the three men had started pouring over records that matched the criteria: Ryan, UNLV and assault charges, Greg enquired "Where's Grissom? Why's he not helping?"

"He ran out of here almost as soon as we got back. We thought he might have a lead but we've not heard much yet."

This got Greg anxious.

A moment later there was a beep from the computer. The results were in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_A moment later there was a beep from the computer. The results were in._

Nick skimmed the screen before relaying to his colleagues, "The blood matches a Ryan Norton of UNLV and jeesh, look at his rap sheet!"

Greg and Warrick came round the table to see.

"How's this guy not in jail?" Greg exclaimed.

"Rich parents" Warrick replied disgusted.

"Money can make anything disappear." Nick agreed sadly. "There's Brass returning now!"

Nick called Brass over.

"Good, I was just looking for you guys I have some more information." Brass said

"Same, but you first" Nick replied.

"We got a call tonight asking for an ambulance from someone saying they had Sara and that she was hurt. But the operator heard gunshots too." The three other men began to panic. "No it's not like that." He quickly reassured them. "But it's not much better. Grissom and I arrived at the scene to find another DB belonging to an unidentified male. We think he wanted to give up this game and get Sara help but it looks like another of the attackers didn't like his plan." Brass conveyed with a dark ironic tone. "What have you found out?"

"Blood at the scene matches a Ryan Norton. Currently staying at UNLV and he has an extensive criminal record." Warrick declared.

"I'll send out an arrest warrant immediately! Maybe he's willing to do us a deal and let us know where Sara is. But you will still need more than that for a conviction. Wait did you say he is from UNLV?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"The DB Grissom and I saw was wearing a UNLV top! I'll send Sofia round there to see if anyone saw them leaving last night."

Greg then quipped in, "She should probably ask after the party at the campus Lindsey spoke about. It's where she knew Ryan from."

"I'll let Sophia know" Brass told them as he turned and went to complete his tasks.

...

Catherine was sitting on her sofa drinking a beer. This was not a habit she indulged in regularly but today she needed it. Lindsey had been allowed home from the hospital, bearing scars hospitals were not made to heal. Catherine was ecstatic her daughter was back home safe where she belonged but it was with a deep feeling of distress that she remembered who she owed her miracle too. Catherine took another drink. She couldn't d anything for Sara tonight. As much as she wanted to help the others, her daughter needed her just now and she was not going to walk away at the time Lindsey most needed her. She had tried talking to and comforting Lindsey but her daughter had shut down. She had not eaten nor slept properly since before the attack. Catherine could not imagine what was going through her head right now. She was obviously shaken up over the attack but Catherine felt it went deeper than that. Guilt perhaps? Fear?

A knock at the door awoke Catherine from her reverie.

She opened the door to see Warrick standing there. Immediately she broke down and fell into his arms. Warrick guided her to the couch and stroked her arm while she cried the tears that even Catherine had not realised she had been holding back. He hated seeing her so torn up but everyone in the team was on edge and not forgetting she had also been through a scare tonight.

After about fifteen minutes she cleared her throat and asked in a small voice, "how's the investigation going?"

Warrick sighed, "we now have two bodies on our hands, both presumably attackers but we may need Lindsey to identify." A look of concern crossed Catherine's face.

"Only when she's ready," Warrick reassured her. "They are not much help to us dead anyway other than confirming the number of people we are still trying to find. We also found blood at the scene and finger prints on the gun matching a Ryan Norton. Brass has issued a search warrant but he is not at his flat. They are still searching for him now but he's injured so will have to show up at a hospital sooner or later. Brass has cops at all local hospitals keeping an eye out. They'll page us all when they bring him in."

"Thank you." Catherine responded. "And thanks for coming over this morning."

"I figured you'd need someone but be too stubborn to ask." He chided.

Catherine gave him a glare but couldn't hold it and smiled.

"How's Lindsey?" Warrick asked.

"Physically she's fine, just some minor bruising. But she is distraught. She won't speak to me." Catherine's voice began to break at the end of her sentence.

"Would you like me to try?" Warrick asked softly.

"Would you?" Catherine pleaded.

"Of course" he answered. Warrick kissed Catherine on the forehead before breaking the embrace. He kept hold of her hand and the two headed to Lindsey's room.

...

"I'll wait out here." Catherine whispered.

Warrick nodded before knocking on the door.

"Lindsey, may I come in?"

For a moment there was no answer but then they heard some shuffling and the door lock unclick. Warrick took this to mean his entry was acceptable and he opened the door.

The sight he saw broke his heart. Lindsey sat on the bed, her eyes red from crying and her face darkened with bruising. She held her childhood teddy bear across her chest as if it were protection.

"Aww, sweetie," Warrick started but he was cut off as the younger Willows woman burst out sobbing. It took Catherine all her willpower to go against her maternal instinct and not go in to comfort her daughter. She needed Lindsey to open up and if Catherine were to enter now Lindsey would resurrect her barriers.

Warrick approached the bed and took Lindsey's hand in his, scared knowing from his experience working with assault victims that if he were to go any closer she may freak out. His fears were unfounded however. Lindsey threw her arms around his neck and collapsed into his chest.

Rearranging himself slightly into a less uncomfortable position he continued to hold Lindsey until she had settled enough to talk.

"Sorry," she sniffled, "I've got your shirt all wet."

"That's not a problem honey, I'm just grateful we have you here to soak my shirt. Are you ok?" Warrick asked knowing it was a stupid question.

"No but I'm better off than Sara probably. Have you found her yet?" Lindsey asked beseechingly.

Wishing he could give her the answer she needed to hear he told her truthfully, "no but we will darling. I promise you none of us will let this go until she is home where she belongs."

"This all my fault," Lindsey exclaimed and broke down again. "I should've listened to my mum. She told me it was trouble. If I hadn't snuck out I would never have angered Ryan. He wouldn't have come after me last night and Sara wouldn't have had to save me. She would be here right now. What if she's dead Warrick! You all must hate me. If it weren't for me acting like an idiot you all wouldn't be on the brink of losing a close friend."

"Now stop right there Lindsey. Listen to me! Absolutely no one hates you. We are all worried about you and we all love you. Nothing will change that. Sara proved it last night. She knew what could happen if she got involved and did it regardless. She works with it every day and she didn't want to see your name in a case file that she would be working tomorrow. We're all scared for Sara. We all love her like a sister but we will work endlessly until we have her back and she can tell you all this herself. If she were here she'd tell you it's not your fault. It's those monsters who came after you. Ok! Do you get me Lindsey? Do you understand? Its – not –your – fault! We do not hate you! We cannot hate you! We love you!"

"Thank you" Lindsey whispered softly.

"Would you like me to get your mum?"

"I know she's outside the door. She can't help herself!" Lindsey chuckled. Warrick smiled and called Catherine through.

Lindsey got up from the bed and rushed into her mother's arms still whimpering.

"Shh, Shh. Everything will be ok darling. I promise" Catherine reassured her daughter, while running fingers through her hair.

Catherine mouthed "Thank you" and hoped the full meaning behind her sentiment was felt. Warrick smiled, nodded and let himself out hoping he was able to keep his promise he made Lindsey, to find Sara.

**AN1.** Just realised I haven't given you all a timeline for when this is set. It doesn't really have one so let's call it alternative universe but if not probably season 6. It is at a point were Greg is a CSI but still a recent addition. No one has left or has been killed and everything is as it should be.

Relationships wise maybe not though but we'll see what happens throughout the story. That's not a spoiler since I don't even know where I want them to go with regards to romance. I don't like writing much romance. Nothing against it but it just doesn't interest me much. I do think it adds a nice layer to the story though.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN. I've posted two chapters soon after each other so make sure you got the last one too. It contained important information.**

**Chapter 9**

Sara awoke to find herself in a basement. It was completely underground so was dark and only lit by a small bulb in the centre of the room. She was lying on a thin mattress near a wall. Besides the mattress, the stair case and a sink in the opposite corner, the room was empty. She tried to turn round on the makeshift bed but a pain across the chest stopped her. Just then the memories from the incident washed over her. Lindsey's terrified face, shooting the leader then shooting one of his followers, being hammered by fists flying into her, getting shot...

Her hands flew to her chest; the pain was immense. It surprised her that she had not felt it immediately upon waking up. However the bleeding seemed to have stopped. Had David really managed to patch her up? Thoughts of David got her scared again. She remembered the deafening gunshot and his body falling limply on top of her. Shortly after she remembered seeing the butt of the gun coming down towards her head as the world slipped between her fingers.

Sara started panicking. Where was she? How long had she been gone? She leapt up ignoring the pain in her chest and ran to the door. Sara tried with all her might to open it but she was still weak and the door was locked. She slid to the ground and tried and failed to hold back tears. It wasn't long before she was sobbing.

...

Sara didn't know how long she had been sitting there for when she started to hear movement outside the door. She scurried back and subconsciously found shelter in the furthest corner.

The door slowly creaked open and her captor made his way down the staircase.

"Good, you're up. It took you bloody long enough!" he said angrily.

"Sorry but getting shot and loosing half my body size in blood really takes it out of me" she snapped back despite her fear. A second too late she realised her normal defence (her smart talking and feistiness) was going to only hurt her in this situation.

A fist came down around her face. "You bitch! Do you even realise how much I have done for you? I've defied Ryan! He's dangerous! He knows we took you away alive. Your police buddies have been swarming around campus. They got David's call. They know there's a chance your alive still. They'll give up hope eventually though. No one can look forever." He jibed. So they were looking for her, she thought feeling slightly better. They were on the right tracks with UNLV. Did that mean Lindsey got a way on time and had told them? She deeply hoped this was the case.

Ryan continued, "Don't look too happy yet sweetheart. They haven't even worked out I had anything to do with that girl's attack or David's death or I would have been arrested, they haven't even tried to speak to me!"

With a sudden realisation dawning on his face his one sided conversation turned as if someone else were speaking. "I killed David! Oh god! I killed David! NO!"

He had been pacing but now he turned to Sara. "But he wanted to fess up." He pleaded as if asking for her to understand. "I can't tell them what I did. I can't. I can't..." he began to mutter repeatedly under his breath, pacing again. Sara left him to his mantra. His state of mind was obviously unstable and she was scared. He was capable of doing inflicting anything on her. David's murder proved that.

After about five minutes of John whispering under his breath he turned swiftly to stare Sara in the face. "You!" he screamed harshly, back to his original ferocity. "It's all you! You had to come interrupt us that night! We wouldn't have hurt the girl. Well not badly. But you just had to provoke Ryan didn't you. You challenged him and he fought back and now he's AWOL, David and Ian are dead and the police could be at my door any minute!"

"It's not my fault though" he said, whining again as if he were a young child pleading with his mother. "If I fess up I could be imprisoned for life or even put on death row! I'd lose everything. I'd lose my job, my scholarship in college. It's all I have. I have to prove myself. My parents left me. They took alcohol and drugs `til it killed them. They left me to the system. I need to break away from that life. I'm sick of being looked down on. I need to matter." He protested.

Sara almost began to empathise with the guy. She knew what a childhood like that could do to you. She also knew how much she had needed the Harvard scholarship on more than just an academic level while she had been John's age.

"I'll show them though." He declared proudly. "I'll show everyone. I'll show you." He said, his voice rising. "You owe me. My parents left me this place. I'll keep you here. But you owe me for saving your pathetic life. For keeping you alive!"

"Why have you kept me alive?" Sara asked with all the courage she could muster. "You killed David."

"I know." He admitted sadly. "But enough people are dead. I thought about killing you as you lay here, it would've been so easy, you were just lying in this room unconscious, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had my gun drawn and everything but I killed David because he was about to take everything I had from me. I can't kill you. I'm not a monster. But you do owe me." He reminded her with a deep hunger in his dark eyes.

John started to prowl ever closer to her.

"No! God please no! Please just no! I'll do anything but please don't! PLEASE!"

Pain filled screams permeated the air but no one but the basement's god-forsaken occupants would hear them.

...

Sara could still feel the blood pooling beneath her. Her eyes were drooping but she was determined not to give in to sleep. If she slept she would be forced to relive it. But it wasn't like she would ever forget.

Sara looked down again at her bloodied stomach. It read:

"I am lucky, I am John's"

...


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 11**

Three days passed before they found Ryan. In that time they had not had much luck. The two dead bodies had been identified as Ian Winters and David Knight. Their dorm rooms had been searched along with friends and families questioned but there were no leads on Sara. They were all members of the same fraternity but no one had seen them leave that night and no one had any idea who the fourth member of the group had been.

However they had gathered hairs on the first DB's jacket and some fingerprints on the gun that matched Ryan so they had a good chance at a conviction. The splatters that were around the pool of blood matching Sara proved she was shot. They couldn't confirm who shot the first DB though so Ryan was not going to get murder. The CSIs tried to avoid thinking about how he could still get murder on account for Sara even though the odds were remote she were still alive.

Catherine was sitting on the couch at home with Lindsey when she got the page that they had brought Ryan in. She was torn. On one hand she desperately wanted to go in and look at the man who had caused her family-both blood and CSI- so much anguish. On the other hand she still felt uneasy about leaving Lindsey, wither it were her own fears or Lindsey's she wasn't quite sure.

Lindsey looked up to see her mother's face. She had a fair idea what the message on the pager must have been. Her mother had been fantastic these last few days, wither it was comforting her from nightmares or proving all the doors and windows were locked despite the fact none of her attackers knew where she lived. But the price for her mother's care was that Catherine had not been in to the lab as much as she would have liked. She never complained to Lindsey but it was obvious Catherine felt she needed to help more in the search for Sara especially with 72 hours passed since the initial attack.

"Go mum"

"What?"

"I know it's the lab. Go. I'll be fine. Plus Sara needs you more than I do right now."

With a moments consideration Catherine replied, "Thank you Linds. Promise you'll call if you need anything!"

"Ok, I will!" Lindsey replied knowing it would have to be a pretty big emergency for her to follow up that promise.

...

Catherine walked into the lab with trepidation knowing that Ryan Norton was nearby. She headed to Grissom's office to find that everyone was already gathered there. Grissom was behind his desk tapping a pen on the edge of it. Greg was sitting on the couch staring into the distance looking lost without his mentor. Nick was pacing and Warrick was standing calmly by the door but with a look of pain obvious in his eyes.

Grissom was the first one to address her, "Hi," he said consolingly getting up and going round the desk to embrace her. They held each other for another moment before she pulled back to face him.

"When's the interrogation?" she asked.

"We have to wait for Norton's lawyer to get here." He stated with a mild disgust in his voice. "Brass said he'll come get us when it's time to start. We won't be allowed in the room obviously but we can watch through the window." With a nod Catherine sat down by Greg.

It as fifteen more minutes before Brass knocked on the door. Catherine suddenly felt nauseous; she was absolutely terrified of facing the monster and fearing that if Ryan didn't spill they may lose Sara. The group followed Brass out silently then filed into the observation room outside the first interrogation room. They saw Norton sitting there smugly at the table and everyone instantly knew he was guilty. They had all seen that expression on too many suspects not to recognise it as the face of someone who thought they were about to get off with their crimes. Grissom, Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Greg stood there trying to remain composed as Ecklie and Brass took their seats in the room.

...

"Please state your name, date of birth and address for the tape," Ecklie commanded coldly.

"Ryan Norton, 21st April 1987, Phi Fraternity House UNLV" Ryan said in a bored tone.

"Norton, can you tell us where you were on the night of June 3rd this year?" Brass said menacingly.

With a glance at his lawyer who gave him a slight nod he answered vaguely, "I was out with some friends."

"Fancy telling us who these friends were?" Brass asked roughly.

"Not really," Norton smirked.

"I see. Well would you like to tell us what you got up to that night with these 'friends'?" Ecklie spat.

"No comment" Norton's lawyer interjected.

"And whys that?" Ecklie responded coldly

"Can you please tell us what my client is being accused of here?" The lawyer demanded standing up.

"I'm pretty sure your client here is perfectly aware of his crimes but as you wish," Brass started.

"Sir, I mean no offense. I'm sure you know how to do your job but I would appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions about my client here. What evidence do you have of these supposed 'crimes'?" the lawyer interrupted.

"Oh I can give you evidence. As I was saying we think, actually no, we pretty much know that Ryan Norton was in the alleyways off 5th street where he and a group of his 'friends' started to terrorise a young girl by the name Lindsey willows and then went on to kidnap a law enforcement officer who attempted to help your clients victim. That much we are sure of since we have DNA and finger prints. What we want to know is where our officer is being held." Brass taunted.

Grissom noticed Norton's face drop at the Brass' revelation of how much they knew but contort in surprise at the word kidnap.

"What do you mean kidnap?" Norton asked worriedly.

"Sit down Ryan," the lawyer begged, "As you can see my client does not know what you are talking about! Your evidence must be circumstantial."

"She was dead!" Ryan roared causing everyone to flinch in the room. "I shot her in that alleyway. David told me she was dead." Ryan's lawyer sat down; his posture showing that he had given up.

"Well David lied. We got a call shortly after from whom we think was David telling us he had an injured Sara Sidle with him, our officer."

"I'm going to kill him!" Ryan roared even louder this time.

"Too late," Ecklie replied smugly. "When we arrived at the location we traced the call to, our officer was gone and only a male dead body was left behind who we later identified as David Knight. We now have Knight, Winters and you accounted for. Whoever else was with you that night knows where Sara is. I suggest you tell us now who he was and if you're lucky a judge may go easier on you when sentencing you for assault of Lindsey Willows and attempted murder of Sara Sidle!"

Norton thought for a moment. He was in deep trouble and it was only just beginning to occur to him that money may not be enough this time but on the other hand he was scared of John. He seemed unstable to say the very least and knew a lot about Ryan's various past wrong doings. Handing John into the police would probably only bring light to crimes of his that had slipped under the cops' radar. If the police knew about them his sentence would only increase and make up for any reduction given to him for cooperating. And there was always the added bonus of having a very angry John Carson wanting him. Even if one or both of them were locked up the thought still scared him. Ryan decided he better keep his mouth shut.

"No comment"

"For fuck sake tell us!" Brass bellowed.

"No comment" Ryan repeated.

This time Ecklie spoke up, "Well if that's your decision Norton so be it but between the DNA evidence, fingerprints and the fact you have practically confessed we have you for the attempted murder of Sara sidle, a member of law enforcement. She is one of ours and we don't like it when people mess with one of our family. This department will not stop searching until we have her back and we will make sure that there's not a hope on Earth you will be walking as free man anytime soon. We have all the evidence we need to send you away for a long time Norton so I suggest for your own sake you start cooperating with us and tell us what we need to know!"

Everyone in the observation room was slightly moved by Ecklie's speech. He had always seemed to hate the entire graveyard shift and Sara in particular. Turned out he was human after all.

Ryan was stupefied by the older man's outburst. He blurted out, "John Carson!"

...

please review! pretty please! i know all writers bang on about it but it really makes me happy!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 12**

Sara wasn't sure what had awoken her from her restless slumber. She thought it might have been the pain in her leg but then again it was not as bad as it had been earlier. She had put her leg into a makeshift splint using some loose bits of wood from the staircase banister and tied it together with her trousers. She figured she didn't have much use for the trousers now. There was no way she could put them back on in the state she was. Moving across the room to get the wood had been hard enough. And it wasn't like wearing the trousers would preserve her dignity; it would take a lot more to stop her captor.

It wasn't long until she figured out what had woken her. Sara could hear sirens approach. She knew they'd figure it out. She knew it! She lay there sobbing tears of relief. It was almost over. She would see the team again soon. She would see her family. She would see Grissom.

The door bell rang and she heard John move towards the door. It wasn't long until she heard him yell in protest. His shouting was getting quieter and quieter. He was getting taken from the house. They were bringing him in. He was gone. She was safe.

She heard the shouts and heavy feet of police men searching the house. She needed to shout out to them. She needed out of here. With all the strength she could muster she tried to yell but no sound was made. She tried again. Nothing but a whimper. She wasn't strong enough. Taking the wood from the splint Sara made her way across the room as fast as she could. If she couldn't make the noise herself she would find another way.

Sara couldn't move fast enough however. She heard the footsteps directly above her and then she heard them leave.

No it was only for a minute she told herself. They had only gone down the hallway. Sara continued to drag herself towards the sink. She would hit it with the wood or anything else she could find if the wood wasn't loud enough. She held the wood and raised her arms as far as she could. She then brought them down towards the sink. Her chest was burning but she didn't care. The paramedics could fix her. She'd held on this long. She'd see them soon. She would!

The noise rattled out but Sara never heard anymore footsteps. She tried again. Still nothing. She tried again, then again, then again. Still nothing. Her screams of anguish added to the noise now. She tried again, then again, then again. Five minutes passed. The ten minutes went by. She didn't know how long it was before she gave up nor did she care. She let herself drop and screamed all weakness and pain forgotten for it didn't matter now. It was too late. She was too late. They were gone and she'd never get out. This was it.


	12. Chapter 12

AN. Sorry this took awhile. I found this chapter difficult to write. I meant to make a bigger deal out of this chapter but it ended up quite short. It's kind of a filler chapter so I can move on to the interesting part of the story in the next chapter and still have it make sense. I'm sorry this chapter and the last one are short but it was really one chapter split in 2. This is the events of chapter 12 from everyone else's point of view but starts where chapter 11 finished off.

**Chapter 13**

_Ryan was stupefied by the older man's outburst. He blurted out, "John Carson!"_

"And where will we find this John Carson?" Brass murmured in a low voice.

"He lives at the university."

Everything became a mad rush at this point. Everyone piled out of the interrogation room and followed Grissom who was storming to the Tahoes.

Catherine was on the phone to the university administrator who gave them the dorm name where John was staying. Brass was on the phone sorting out a warrant. Another officer would run it over to them at the university once it as sorted.

No one said a word on the way to the university. They didn't know what to say. Sara was in reach. They didn't know if she was dead or alive but either way this nightmare would be over soon.

Once they arrived everyone practically ran to the area of campus where they knew Carson stayed. Flashing their badges to security they ran up to the room. Nick hammered on the door, "OPEN UP!"

There was some shuffling behind the door and dishevelled young man opened the door.

"Mr Carson?" Grissom asked.

"No, that's my pain in the arse roommate. I'm Craig Holder. Can I help you?"

"You mind if we come in?" Grissom asked and without waiting for a reply he barged past Craig and entered the room.

The dorm was small, unimpressive and very unlikely to be holding Sara. The rest of team had filed in behind Grissom.

"You mind if we have a look around?" Grissom asked.

"Go ahead." Craig replied apathetically.

While the team looked around, Brass questioned Craig.

"Do you have any idea where your roommate may be?" Brass asked.

"Not really, we don't talk much."

"Any family in the area? Any close friends?"

"He was a bit of a loner and he mentioned once that his parents died."

Craig's face then dropped as if he suddenly realised something.

"What?" Brass probed.

"I think his parents left him a house. I'm not sure the address exactly but it's out by Boulder City."

Brass called Grissom through.

"We have another possible residence, out in boulder city. Unsure of the address though. Carson's parents left it to him."

The rest of the team had filed in behind Grissom wanting to know if they had found something.

"Okay, we'll head out there the now. Catherine and Nick come with us. Greg, go back to the lab and search John Carson. Find out where this other address is and call us as soon as you have it. After that meet us at the scene. Warrick, finish processing the dorm. See if there's anything useful here. Then meet us at the address too."

With confirming nods from the rest of his team they got to work.

...

The house they were at was frankly disgusting. There was no other word for it. Brass hammered the door.

When the door opened Brass asked, "Mr Carson?"

"Yes, what can I do for you gentlemen?"

"Mr Carson, I have a warrant for your arrest and to search the premises." Brass declared with slightly too much delight in his voice.

Before Carson could protest two police officers who had accompanied them had John turned round, handcuffed and were leading him back to the patrol car amidst John's yelling.

Brass told the CSIs they should wait outside while he and the two remaining officers cleared the house. In response Grissom, Catherine and Nick withdrew their weapons and entered the house without another word to the detective.

"As I thought" Brass chuckled.

...

It didn't take long to search the house which only consisted of the one floor. They found nothing. No Sara, no blood and nothing to suggest she was ever here. The CSIs insisted they look again. They didn't give up the search for a long time but eventually they knew it was a lost cause. Catherine and Brass headed back to interrogate Carson and Grissom and Nick remained to process the house to see if there was anything they could use to hold him.

As Catherine and Brass walked out the house towards Brass' car they saw Warrick and Greg pull up. Catherine shook her head at them as they approached answering their unasked question.

"She's not here, guys." Catherine whimpered.

Warrick cursed and walked off to cool off. Greg just stared at her. His bottom lip quivered.

Catherine couldn't handle seeing the boys in pain. She got into Brass' car soon followed by the detective. They would go back and question Carson. Their only lead.

...

Catherine stood in the observation room with a strong feeling of déjà vu. Brass and Ecklie sat across from Carson hoping for something even the smallest lead. Lindsey had been in earlier, just before the interrogation but when she tried to ID her final attacker she failed to pick the correct person in the line up. With no sign of Sara in the house and a false ID the chances that John Carson would be any use to them seemed slim.

"Mr Carson, where were you on the night of June 3rd this year?" Ecklie drawled.

"At my friend's flat playing video games."

"And would this friend be able to confirm that for you?" Brass chided.

"Certainly. Thomas Caldwell, dorm number 234. He lives a couple down from me." Carson answered smoothly, secretly thanking the heavens that he had blackmailed the boy into providing an alibi when the police started looking around the university.

Brass radioed dispatch and told an officer to go check this out.

"Do you know a Ryan Norton?" Brass asked innocently.

"I've heard of him around campus, why?"

"Well according to Mr. Norton, you aided in the assault and attempted murder of Sara Sidle and are the most likely person to be currently holding her hostage. Now why would he say that?"

"Don't know. I've never spoken to the guy."

Brass stood up and stormed out the room. They were getting nowhere.

...

All the CSIs were sitting in the break room. Carson had been taken back down to lock up but with no firm evidence they were not going to be able to hold him for long. Brass had gone back to HQ to check on his alibi as it was their only hope now.

Everyone sat on the uncomfortable sofas in silence. They were losing Sara more and more by the minute but this was the moment that they would find out if they had lost their friend forever. Evidence had been collected at the house but it turned out to be nothing.

Brass came through the door at this point. He couldn't make eye contact with any of them. He couldn't look into their faces when they found out. Brass just shook his head, said sorry and left to grieve in private.

Catherine broke down first. Her shoulders shaking as she disintegrated into quiet sobs. Warrick was next to her and put a strong arm around her shoulders. Catherine leant heavily into the embrace, letting his shirt muffle her cries.

When the sudden realisation came crashing down on Greg he wretched and fled to the bathroom where his lunch vacated him.

Nick and Grissom just sat there frozen. They had lost her. They both loved her. Not in the same way but it didn't matter. Both men felt a part of themselves die inside at that moment. She was gone.

**AN** As you can see I plan to drag this out a bit longer. Sorry for torturing you all but this is about a third the way through. The next chapter should make things a bit clearer and without giving too much away it also has the biggest twist of the story. It won't be the last cliff hanger but everything afterwards will be a result of the next chapter (sort of). I know I'm not making any sense but just enjoy.


	13. Chapter 13

AN. Thanks for all the support so far. I'm sorry I stopped replying to reviews but I will start again from now. This chapter has been edited since I first published it. I reread it and I found it disgustingly graphic.

**Chapter 14**

Almost a day passed before Sara heard movement in the house again. She didn't react. There was no use in trying to protect herself. She was too weak.

The door opened at the top of the staircase and John shuffled in. Despite her defeated attitude Sara instinctively curled away from him.

"No need to worry today. Can't really be bothered, to be honest. I just brought you some food."

Sara was broken and desperate; her fierce attitude had evaporated. She looked towards the food, took it and devoured it.

"That's right," John chuckled. "I'm going for a nap now but when I wake up, well put it this way. You need to pay me for the way your friends treated me. I expect to be satisfied."

John gave her one last pitying look and turned for the stairs.

"Oh and by the way. Don't expect help anytime soon. Your dear old friends didn't even think to check if the back wall of my closet could be opened. Guess my dad's meth lab did have use after all."

...

Not much changed over the next few months for Sara. Her weeks became very similar and repetitive. Every day John would come and visit her after coming home from university. He would normally bring food and water and every now and then he would bring her a change of clothes. After she ate he would take her to the bathroom. He didn't trust her enough to give her privacy in the bathroom however. This upset Sara a lot to start with but eventually she ignored it in fear of what would happen next. John always wanted payment for is 'kindness'. At first Sara would still stand up for herself but she quickly learned that she would be punished, and severely too.

It didn't take long for her to realise no rescue was coming although she did manage to convince herself for a few weeks after they first searched the house that they would find something and come back for her.

It wasn't that she had lost faith in her fellow CSIs but she knew sometimes there was nothing to go on. No, she knew now that she had to save herself. She was going to have to come up with a plan to escape.

On her next venture to the bathroom she tried hard to note the layout of the house the best she could. She figured this would be her best chance. It was the only time she was not behind a locked door (a locked door she had tried many times to pick the lock of). While she was in the bathroom she tried to take note of what was outside but the window was frosted over so she could only see vague colours that weren't much use. Oh well, she would just have to improvise once she got outside. Sara couldn't come up with any genius idea to escape. It was going to have to be the classic run for it. And she would need to do it soon. She would wait until her leg was easier to walk on rather than the hopping/ limping arrangement she was doing right now. But once her leg was healed she would have to go for it; before she became too weak or ill from the poor lifestyle she was now living.

About 3 months after her initial kidnapping she decided she was going to make a run for it that day. She was terrified but driven with the thoughts of seeing her CSI family again. She kept her cool as John came down with her food and she still never let on as he led her from the basement.

This was it. She flung her elbow backwards causing him to lose his grip on her and fall back down the stairs. She darted to the front door remembering easily the way in such a small house. She grabbed the door knob and wrenched at it. She twisted it both ways, pushed, pulled but it wouldn't budge. She could hear him climbing the stairs now. Sara started searching the pockets of the coats on the coat stand by the front door. No luck. He was insight. She tried to judge wither she could make it back down the hall and into the nearest room to try a window. That second of hesitation cost Sara her only hope of escaping. What she didn't know was that if she had went for it she would have made it through the window John had left open earlier in the day. Her nightmare would have ended. Not that it made any difference now. John wasn't happy with her little escape attempt and she was about to be taught to never try that again.

John eyes were full of venomous fury. He had seen him angry but this was savage. His fist rose high in the air and that was the last she saw before it all went black.

...

When Sara woke she found herself in the basement again but the room had been slightly rearranged she was lying on the mattress but it now lay by the sink. She tried to sit up but found that her hands had been tied above her head and were attached to the pipes leading to the sink. She was also naked. Sara was a lot of things but she was not stupid. She could put one and one together and she really wished she hadn't got two as the answer. John wasn't going to let her get off with her little stunt. When the full impact of this realisation hit her she started to panic.

John watched her writhe in fear, much to his own enjoyment. Eventually however he decided he wanted to have more fun. He wanted to make her pay.

...

Sara awoke sometime later still lying on the mattress and still tied to the sink. She was drenched in blood and was in unbelievable amounts of pain. She tried to shuffle around to take the weight of her back but her feet had been tied down again. Her breathing was laboured but she tried to steady it. It worked somewhat.

Things changed for her over the next few months. She spent her entire time tied up except when John would untie her to feed her and let her drink. She was never allowed back out to the bathroom and instead was forced to use a bucket. Since John needed to empty it now and then he would demand more repayment. The assaults became more savage and Sara often considered the idea of letting death take her. Not that John would allow that.

But no, she always shook the idea off. There was some strength deep inside her forcing her to keep fighting. It took a while for her to figure out what was causing her strong survival instinct but somehow she just knew.

The realisation came to her when John had her on her stomach again and the belt in his hand. This time she had forgotten to say thank you for the food he brought.

John cackled as he lifted the belt high in the air.

"Please don't. Please!" she cried

"Oh yeah, why shouldn't I?"

"Because I'm pregnant" she screamed.


	14. Chapter 14

AN. Sorry it's taken a while to update. It's been a hectic few months! Just started uni and in between getting settled in I lost momentum for writing. I want to start again but the work load is still massive so it may not be as frequent sorry

Anyway enough excuses. Here's the story.

**Chapter 15**

_"Please don't. Please!" she cried_

_"Oh yeah, why shouldn't I?"_

_"Because I'm pregnant" she screamed._

_..._

John froze.

He dropped his belt then left the basement without saying a word. Sara curled up into the foetal position and just cried. She didn't know what to do. She was sore, tired and weak. She could die at any moment and to be honest that wasn't even what bothered her. If she were to die it would finish all this misery. What scared her was 'It'. The thing growing inside her. She never really wanted to be a mother but if she had she would have wanted anyone but John to be the father. She didn't know what was more violating; that her child was half him or what had led to her child being created in the first place. Wait a moment, _her _child. She had been calling 'it' her child and the thought didn't repel her. It was her child. Blood means nothing, her own parentage showed that. It was all obvious now. But then again, why hadn't the realisation made her feel any better?

She was scared. More than that, she felt sick. She had been scared before, ever since she was taken but this was different. She didn't want to be hurt or treated the way she had but that seemed like a mild annoyance compared to what she was feeling now. The fear of what would happen to her child scared her much more than anything that could happen to her. She barely ate enough for one never mind two, her body was broken and barely capable of growing her child. On top of this she was bringing her child into this damp cold basement and to be subjected to this monster.

She felt a slow burn inside her. Her Sara Sidle spirit was back. This child was going to be okay. She would fight with her life to ensure it. Even if it meant picking her battles more carefully with John and doing a deal with the devil.

...

The next few months were simpler than Sara initially expected. John softened slightly. It turned out he'd always wanted a kid. Sara played on this even if it made her squirm to think that this monster had any emotional attachment to her child. He gave her a proper bedroom but insisted on sharing it with her at night. This did mean more violation but at least the violence had stopped, well stopped in comparison to what it was before. Now it was the occasional slap or scratch but still Sara knew she could suck it up. She had much greater things to fight for.

During the day she was held in the bedroom and handcuffed to the bed. This was fine at first, actually in comparison to the basement it was great but still as she grew bigger the restricted movement was painful. She walked and stretched as much as possible but soon she became bed ridden and in excruciating pain. John refused to uncuff her except for short periods of the day in which to visit the bathroom (well at least she was allowed that again). He did offer her pain killers, knowing that she would refuse them for her baby's benefit.

She eventually learned to block out the pain and started to relax. She was still full of fear for what faced her baby in the future but here was nothing to be done at the moment. She'd deal with it when the time came. She lay there while John was at university, talking to her ever-growing bump. She had a feeling it was a boy, but also laughed at the fact that a year ago, back when she was a free women she would have laughed at pregnant mothers who said they had a 'feeling' about their child. She definitely wasn't the same girl she was a year ago but at the same time she hadn't let go of herself, she'd just adjusted.

These quiet times alone with her child also were some of the most challenging emotional times. She would have done anything to have Grissom and their family with her during pregnancy. They should be attending appointments together and looking with cheesy smiles at the ultrasound pictures. She tried not to venture too much into these thoughts. It always broke her heart. Not that she could help it though. She needed them now more than ever.

One evening while she was lying there telling her bump all about the family that loved it she felt a warm wetness between her legs. With a sickening feeling in her stomach Sara realised what was about to happen. She started to panic and screamed out the one name that came to her in her hour of need.

GRISSOM!

AN. Sorry its short but I need to get the ball rolling again. Any suggestions are welcomed


	15. Chapter 15

**An. This chapter is written slightly differently. I hope you like it.**

**Chapter 16**

_One evening while she was lying there telling her bump all about the family that loved it she felt a warm wetness between her legs. With a sickening feeling in her stomach Sara realised what was about to happen. She started to panic and screamed out the one name that came to her in her hour of need._

_GRISSOM!_

...

**Sara's Point of view**

No, no, no please. I can't do this. God please don't make me do this. I can't. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Another contraction. He was coming fast. I can't deliver a baby! What if he doesn't make it? If he dies, if I kill him it would kill me! God please, or any other religious being out there, I know I have never been much of an ideal person. I'm flawed and I have never shown the respect someone with faith has but please, I'm coming to you now. I have never been more desperate than I have now. Do not let my son die. He is innocent. Please just let him into this world and let him lead a good life. I don't care what happens to me but please, let him live.

**John's point of view**

_She's screaming. She never screams. _

He went to the door of her room and heard her begging. _She's begging for his life. The child's. She's in labour. Oh god. What am I going to do? _

He went to collect towels, warm water and his medical kit. As he approached the door again he froze.

What had happened to him? His life was a mess; this is never what he wanted. He had wanted to stay out of trouble but Ryan and his gang made him feel wanted for the first time in his life. He had tried to save her life, but he couldn't give her back. He would end up in trouble, serious trouble and he couldn't go to jail. Not after everything that he had worked for. He had tried to leave the life his parents had lived. But living with no one who cared had left a scar on him. All he wanted was a normal life with wife and kids. Why couldn't the girl care about him? He didn't want to hurt her but she just got to him sometimes. More often than he was proud to admit. He knew the sexual attacks were wrong but after everything he had done for her, why couldn't she love him and take care of him the way a lover should? It's her fault! She brought this on herself! But it is not his child's fault. With that he went into the room to help bring his son into the world.

**Sara's point of view**

The door opened.

_Oh no, not now. I can't deal with him as well right now. He'll hurt the baby. I can't let him near it. _

Despite being restrained to the bed and in labour she tried to create as much space as possible between herself and John.

"Where are you going?" he laughed. "Don't panic, I'm here to help you. You can't deliver this child yourself!"

When Sara continued to give him an untrusting glare he continued, "Well maybe you can, give it a shot all you want but you know you need me. Without me the baby's chances drop significantly. I won't hurt him. Promise. Just get back on the bed." he smirked.

Defeated she returned to the bed. She knew she had no choice. The pain was unbearable. She had never felt anything like it, not even in her time here and she was almost sure she couldn't survive this. She watched John go to the door and lock it again. Even through the pain she saw the irony.

_It's not like I'm going anywhere right now. _

His next move was relief however. He took out a key and undone her cuffs letting her settle onto the bed. Her body felt heavy in the bed, she hardly felt capable to move. Just then another contraction shot through her body and she emitted a blood curdling scream.

Her legs were forced apart by John who then lifted up night gown up to her torso.

"I can't see the head yet. On the next contraction push"

She did as she was told and there was still no head. She was starting to panic.

"Shh, Sara. It's okay. It's still natural for him not to be showing yet. Calm down or you will hurt him."

She tried her hardest to believe him and settle. Her breathing was short and shallow so she tried to calm it.

Just then another contraction shot through her. Tears streamed down her face and mingled with the perspiration drenching her face. She was weak and tired. She couldn't do this anymore. She was tired fighting. She was tired being strong. All she wanted was this to all be over.

It was then she heard small cries fill the room. She found her strength and lifted her head to see her newborn son. John had wiped him down, cut the cord and wrapped him in a nearby sheet. John's eyes were empty and cold as he passed the child to Sara and left the room but Sara did not care for the reason. She stared down at her child. Her amazing, pure and beautiful child. Sara started to weep.

"Hey, there darling. I'm your mummy. I need you to know, angel that I love you so so much. Things aren't always going to be easy for you sweetheart. This isn't the life I wanted you to be born to but you will be alright. I know you will, because no matter how hard things get you will always have me and I will take care of you and protect you. I will get you out of here one day no matter what. I will find a way and you are going to grow into an outstanding man who will take the world by storm. We will get back to our family. They don't know about you yet but they will care about you and cherish you. In a way I'm sure they will already know you're here, they just don't realise it yet. Maybe your cries will stretch across the infinity between us and them and they will hear that we are still fighting. They will hear the sound of hope and new beginnings. We are going to be amazing you and I. We will always be a team. Because my little Lucas, I love you and I always will."


	16. Chapter 16

**AN. This is a long one (for me anyway). Consider it compensation for me taking such a long break. But on the other hand you may want to read it very slowly because it may be longer until my next update. I have an exam this week and I really should study for it :S**

**Chapter 17**

The following months after Sara's disappearance hadn't been easy on anyone in the team. They had no good leads and were struggling to accept that Sara was not going to come back.

Greg was a shadow of his former self. There was no longer loud music screeching through the halls of CSI. He had lost his mentor and friend. In a way he felt as if he had lost a sister. He didn't really know what to do anymore and Catherine often thought of him as a lost puppy. He started to throw himself into his work. When he was working he felt like Sara was there. Just in the next room or something. She wouldn't have left him behind. Would she?

Nick had not accepted the general consensus that Sara was lost to them either but he didn't like to consider the alternative. Instead he had gone into autopilot, neither believing Sara was dead or alive just pretending nothing was going on. Occasionally the haze that had entered his brain since hearing Sara was missing would dissolve and he would break down. One night, shortly after they had had to let John Carson go, Nick had trashed his apartment. He only stopped when he came across one of Sara's old CDs she had lent him months ago. He had never got round to giving it back to her. Some part of his brain that had lost all logic decided that Sara couldn't just go without getting her CD back. He would keep the CD safe for her and she would come to get it someday, when she was ready. It wasn't like Sara to leave loose ends unsorted. That much Nick was sure of.

Warrick had tried to be the strong one of the group. He had been there for Catherine when he struggled to deal with her guilt and grief. He had also tried to keep spirits up between the boys, inviting them out for drinks a couple of nights a week. There was only so much he could do though. He needed an outlet for his pain and frustrations too. At first he relapsed back to his old comfort of gambling but it had reminded him too much of Sara and how they had met so he settled for remaining at the bar.

Grissom was still in denial. He would sit in his office for hours on end going over the evidence. Somehow he thought he may find that missing clue that no one else had seen. Deep down he knew it was useless but it kept him going. If he were to sit and think about what had happened the great machine that is Gil Grissom would break down. He could no longer function if he started to believe that Sara was gone forever.

Catherine tried to help her best friend come to terms with the team's loss but she wasn't doing much better herself. Her relationship with Sara could never really have been described as anything more than professional. The two women seemed to get on each other's nerves but it was never hateful. The fact that Sara would go to her daughter's aid like that despite the possible consequences shook Catherine. Sara gave as good as she got but that didn't make Catherine feel any less guilty for every cruel word she had uttered to Sara. She was determined not to waste the gift Sara had given to her and she cherished every moment she had with Lindsey.

...

Ryan Norton stood trial about three months after his arrest. All the CSIs were present. They heard Ryan jeer about what he had done, as if he were proud of it. There was no remorse in his voice; it was like he did not realise the pain caused by his actions. As matter of fact he was perfectly aware. That made it all the worse.

Shortly after leaving the courtroom Catherine broke down in Grissom's arms. Three months of pain, fear and guilt over took her. Grissom just held her close as sob's wracked her small frame. He was too numb to react at the moment. He guessed it would hit him later.

...

A year after Sara's disappearance Grissom was forced to accept that Sara was not coming back. In truth he never actually accepted it but he could no longer justify postponing the memorial service. His team needed closure.

The night before the memorial service everyone gathered at Catherine's. They needed to be together tonight. The team all sat in silence around the coffee table. No one knew what to say to one another. It was like there was a big gaping chasm in the room where Sara should be but instead it was pouring pain and grief into the room.

After a long period of quiet Catherine piped up, "Did anyone ever call Sara's family?"

Grissom sighed.

"Sara doesn't have any," he confessed, deliberately not referring to Sara in the past tense. Everyone looked at him with confusion across their faces.

"She grew up in foster care. We're all she has."

"We're all she needs." Nick stated defiantly.

Greg scoffed, "And we have still let her down!"

Greg stood and headed for the door. Nick grabbed his arm.

"What's going on? Where are you going?" Nick asked

Greg tried to leave again but Nick had a firm grip.

"I'm sorry, I just can't. It's not right," he stuttered. "I can't sit here, us all together and not see Sara smiling and laughing. She should be here teasing me about not getting any or beating you and Warrick at arm wrestling because she could distract you so easily! She's meant to be here driving Catherine up the wall one minute then having a good natured gossip the next. She should be giving Grissom casual glances across the room trying to hide that she loves him." Greg looked at the ground. Everyone was silent again for a moment.

"I know its hard mate but we've got to stick together." Nick pleaded.

Greg shook his head. "I just can't! I'm sorry." And with that he left.

Nick started to go after him but Warrick stopped him saying, "He needs some space, man. Check on him later."

Nick reluctantly nodded and sat back down.

The next couple of hours passed in a similar fashion. Mainly silence. Everyone had a beer in front of them and would occasionally make small talk but everyone knew Greg was right. No matter how much they needed to pull together at a time like this, being together was only a painful reminder that Sara wasn't with them.

Eventually Nick noticed that Warrick had drunk too much. He was dozing off and when spoken to, he was slurring his words.

"I think it's time I took you home man" Nick told him.

Warrick just grunted in a reply but did not protest as he was led from the house.

Catherine called after them, "Check on Greg while your out, would you Nicky?"

Nick waved in acknowledgement then shut the door behind himself.

Catherine turned to Grissom who had been unusually silent that night, even compared to the rest of them. She saw a pained expression in his eyes and he took pity on him. She knew him well enough to know that he was doing everything he could to not let his barriers down. The last time he let himself get too attached to someone they were torn from his life. Ever since that horrible night he'd closed himself off. He was still very much there for his team and fond of them. He would do anything for them without a second thought but he could not let himself need them back. In truth he did need them and there was nothing he could do about it.

Silently Catherine approached him and put out her hand.

"Come on."

He turned to her as if he only just noticed she was there. Grissom took her hand and let her guide him to the guest bedroom.

"You're staying with me tonight." She told him in her motherly tone that made him aware he was going to do as he was told. He nodded thankfully and Catherine turned to leave the room.

"Catherine?"

"Yes?"

"It is true what Greg said? Did Sara love me?"

"Are you seriously asking me that Grissom?"

"Yes, I am. I knew she had feelings for me, an infatuation but I thought it was nothing more than that. Have I really hurt her that badly?"

"For someone so smart Grissom you can be incredibly blind. Sara loved you and whether she was hurt or not, that never changed. Both of you had a relationship that could make anyone jealous. You may have not been 'together' but you were both definitely the other's soul mate."

With that thought Catherine left Grissom for the night.

...

Nick managed to get Warrick home and tucked up in bed safely. Upon leaving his friend's apartment he considered where he may find his younger comrade. He tried a few bars he knew Greg favoured but found him nowhere. Nick was seriously frantic now. Greg was not at home or picking up his phone either. It was then he had a brainwave.

Nick pulled up to Keller's park, where Greg and Sara would often go running together. He spotted the young man on a bench not far from the entrance. He was broken but nick was glad to see he was sober.

"Hey man," Nick said softly as he approached Greg.

Greg looked up ashamed, "hi, I'm sorry I left like that, I just, I don't know, it's just been so hard this year Nick, without her. I miss her so much" Greg's voice broke down into sobs by the end of his statement.

Nick put an arm around him and let him sob it out. Nothing he could say would make this go away. He was damned though if he didn't try his hardest. After ten minutes Greg had calmed and Nick had decided on what he was going to say to ease Greg's pain.

"Greg, tell me about Sara."

"What? You knew her, what are you talking about?"

"Humour me. Tell me about the girl you knew."

Greg was still giving nick an incredulous look but he played along anyway,

"She was one of my best friends, she was my mentor. In fact that doesn't even justify it. She was a big sister to me. She was determined and ambitious without ever being selfish or egotistic. She was loyal and she cared. Sara was a beautiful person, on the inside and out." Greg finished quietly.

Nick smiled ruefully. "Yes, she was. And if she were here right now what would she say?"

"I don't know, she'd probably tell us to stop being so depressing or something?"

"No Greg, but close. She may say that if you were whinging about one of your stupid rock bands breaking up or something, but..."

"Hey, my bands are not stupid and I was not whinging about Black Blood breaking up I was truly upset!" Greg protested playfully.

"Whatever cry-baby," Nick smirked, "my point is she would let us be as upset as we wanted. She'd comfort us and let us cry but after that she'd want us to be strong and keep going. You know that right?"

"Yeah I do. I just don't want to ever forget her."

"We never will Greg. I promise you." After a pause Nick continued, "Come on let's get you home. Tomorrows going to be difficult enough as it is."

...

The day of the memorial service arrived. The CSIs filled the front rows, all holding each other for comfort. Greg sat at the end of the row crying softly, followed by Catherine and Lindsey who were hugging and sobbing silently. Warrick had his arm on Catherine's back trying to offer reassurance but was barely holding it together himself and Nick was sitting biting his lip, trying to hold back his tears. Grissom sat at the other end of the row nearest the aisle. He felt dead inside. He did not cry, he had not cried much since the night itself. He had spent every tear he had and with that his soul had withered. That part of him was brought to life with Sara and died that night too.

...

It had come to the part in the service where Grissom was asked to say a few words. He didn't know how to do this justice but knew he had to give it his best shot regardless. He made his way up to the front of the hall numbly, not quite sure of how his legs were carrying him there.

"Friends and family, thank you all for joining us here today to celebrate the life of Sara Sidle. I know these are circumstances that none of us ever wanted to come together in but please take comfort in the fact that even if her life was cut short it was one that was lived to the fullest. She was a butterfly to all those who knew her. She flew into our lives and left again far too soon. We are saddened that she left but we should also take joy in the fact we saw her even for the shortest of moments. For every life she touched was better for it. Whether it was the victims and their families who she fought for or her closest friends, her family, to whom she was a selfless companion, a shoulder to lean on and someone who would never let you down. Sara faced many hardships in her life and had to overcome many obstacles. Despite this she was always true. She never wavered in her values. Sara always fought for justice. She spent her whole life fighting for what was right and she continued despite all perils right up to her last breath. We could all learn a lesson from her courage, ambition and appreciation for life. Sara was an inspiration to us all and I swear to you all now that she will never be forgotten. Sara will live on in our hearts and she'll be with us always. We all love you Sara, I love you. I always have and I always will."

**AN. I should be bringing this story to its finale soon but there will still be an aftermath. **


	17. Chapter 17

**AN. Sorry for the long wait. It took longer than expected because I received some bad news about a family friend. For that reason I want to dedicate this story to her and her family. I also want to dedicate it to all my friends and family (especially my Gran, Granda and Auntie) and anyone, even if we don't know each other, which have passed away or suffered from illness.**

Chapter 17

Things improved for Sara after the birth of Lucas. It turns out John did have a heart after all, it was just selective. He was far from father of the year but he at least became humane. Sara was no longer chained to the bed but she and Lucas were locked in the bedroom while he was out of the house. He provided a cot and clothes for Lucas and put Sara in charge of preparing food for the household so Lucas would be well enough fed when he was older. It was far from the Ritz but Sara could cope.

Sara was terrified of being a parent still; having another human being depend on you and especially in these conditions she was unsure of how well she could do it. She wasn't going to give up though and since becoming a mother her fighting spirit was renewed.

Her days were generally happier since Lucas was born. There was an underlying regret since this is not how she wanted to raise a child but she loved Lucas so much and simply being able to love like that made her keep fighting. She watched as he grew from a newborn to a toddler and if she was honest it was some of the most exciting months of her life. Sara's eyes filled with tears as Lucas murmured 'mama' for the first time and when Lucas finally managed to walk his first steps before tumbling into his mother's arms Sara's heart filled with pride.

Sara improvised all she could considering the little supplies that were available. John refused to buy toys for Lucas calling them an unnecessary expense but Sara was resourceful and when doing John's laundry one day she stole a pillow case and tied knots into it until it resembled a doll. Or maybe it was a teddy bear, she wasn't quite sure but Lucas loved it all the same and refused to sleep without it. Sara was scared that the lack of books, toys or other children would hinder his progress but in fact Lucas had grown to be a very smart toddler. He didn't have children's books so he and Sara ended up looking at pictures and diagrams of books John held in the house. Lucas loved the pictures of plants and stars and everything else scientific that was in John's text books (Sara made sure she was selective with what she showed him from the medical journals). In particular Lucas loved the books on space. In all fairness he was hardly a graduating form Harvard level yet but his fascination had given him an above average knowledge of rockets and the wonders of the solar system for someone his age. His thirst for knowledge was out ahead of his ability to read so he often depended on Sara's explanations and stories which she spoiled him with. She would tell him about the wonderful adventures Lucas the explorer / astronaut would get up to on his adventures across the rocky moon, dusty mars or the freezing cold planets further out. They would sometimes act it out and Lucas would show his ability to remember information he had discovered in his past 'adventures', for example if they were going to Pluto Lucas would tell her to "wap up wawm". Sara laughed at his excitement and authoritativeness.

Despite the warm loving bond between Sara and Lucas, John was still a constant worry for Sara. He seemed cold and distant most of the time but at least his violent nature was contained slightly. He would get violent a lot less and when he did, he never did it in front of Lucas. But still she knew her son would work out what was going on soon if he hadn't already. She couldn't let her son grow up the same way she did, surrounded by violence. She was going to find a way to get him out of here. She just hoped she would make it out too. Sara knew that whatever happened to her though she had to find a way out for Lucas. She had no plan but she was not going to miss an opportunity if one arose.

...

John's gross, sick nature reached another level one night shortly after Lucas's second birthday. Sara had asked him for a new bed for Lucas as he had started to outgrow his cot. At first he agreed but she should've known it would not be that easy. One night John took Lucas from her and put him in the spare bedroom at the other side of the house, deaf to his son's screams. This sent her into panic mode. John only ever did this if a night of pain, fear and misery was a head of her. But tonight was worse than usual. He was twice as aggressive and was not even beating around the bush. He returned to her room and grabbed her upper arm twisting it back. He threw her to the bed and used handcuffs to chain her down.

She was alone for another half hour listening to the sound of Lucas' scream, while wishing that she could hold and comfort him. Thankfully his screams died down eventually or John would have become dangerous.

The door bell rang and John let a group of people into this house. Sara's stomach melted. She was fairly sure something horrible was about to happen but this was the first time there were more people around for it.

John along with five other people entered the room.

"Here, gentlemen, is the goods I was telling you about."

"Well, John you did tell us you would pay us back that money you borrowed." One man chortled. He looked as if he was the alpha of the group.

The rest of the group laughed as Sara started to protest and kicked her legs around as much as she could.

John remained in her eye line. "Sara did anyone ever tell you that when you want something you have to earn it. This should cover Lucas' burden on me for the next few months." John smirked at her. "Come on gentlemen; let's have some dignity around here. Kevin you go first as you seem the most... eager. The rest of us can wait outside for our shot."

And so the next couple of hours continued. One after another the men came in and had their fun with her. The fourth man however was different. He approached Sara and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You're that CSI, aren't you?"

Sara lifted her head from the curled up position she was in and looked at him questioningly.

"Look I'm not like those monsters out there. I definitely had no idea that John was up to this. I mean I knew he was odd but this is worse than I ever could have expected. You can trust me. Are you CSI Sidle? The one that was all over the news a while back?"

Sara nodded. The man sighed.

"Well Sidle, my name is Sean, Sean Kirst. I'll help you out of here. We'll find away. We still have a while until they get suspicious. In that time I'll form a plan to get you out of here. It may be hard though. There are five men through there and I don't fancy our chances of out running them. Do you know if there is a back route?"

Sara started to protest, "No please, get Lucas. Just get Lucas out of here. Come back for me later."

"Who's Lucas Sara?"

"My son, please get him out of here. He's at the bottom of this corridor."

Sean stomach flipped at the realisation of the extent John had used this woman. "Okay, I'll get Lucas out of here too, don't worry." He assured her.

"Thank you" and for the first time since Lucas was born she broke down. They were going to get out of here. Someone knew where she was and he was going to keep them safe.

Sean held her until she calmed back down and then asked the question, "Do you know where he keeps the keys for these cuffs?"

"No" she trembled.

"Don't worry, I'll find them somewhere. I'll say I'm going to the toilet or something and have a look around. This is going to take some work. I'm sorry Sara but I don't see any way of getting you out of here during my time with you. I'm going to have to let those monsters back in." John said emotionally while running fingers through his hair frustrated.

"It's okay; I've been here over three years putting up with him. Another few hours won't hurt" she laughed feebly, trying to make light of it.

John didn't like it but there was nothing he could do. He just nodded then replied, "I'll get back to you though okay. John owes me the most money. I'll ask for another shot or something. In the mean time I'll get Lucas out of here and into my car. I'll be back for you okay Sara"

Sara nodded silently and Sean gave her one last reassuring hug.

"If this doesn't go to plan though, promise me you will get Lucas out though, please. Even if you have to leave me behind."

Sean hesitated in replying, "What if he refuses to leave with me? I doubt he'll trust anyone but you."

"Use his toy. Its over in the cot over there. If he sees that you have it he'll know you are a good guy. Just tell him that he needs to be brave and he's going on an adventure."

Sean didn't reply. He was trying to work out what on earth to do.

"Please Sean," she implored. "I need to know he's safe. Yes, it will be agony for him to leave here without getting to say goodbye, knowing he could grow up without me being there but it's nothing compared to how much I need him to be okay. Take him to the LV crime lab. Tell them that I love them all and that this isn't their fault. Tell them that I need them to take care of Lucas for me. Or at least make sure he's safe and in a good home. Please Sean, promise me you will get him out of here." Sara begged.

Sean could see the pain in her eyes. It was that of a women who had suffered a great deal but who had not been broken. He only saw deep love for her child. He could not refuse her request even if it meant leaving her at the hands of a monster. He nodded his agreement and with that he left the room.

**An. Sorry for any inaccuracies. I'm not a mother so I had to Google a lot. And when what Google said didn't fit in with my story I used creative licence. I know I may be rushing it now but there's not much more to say for this part of the story than john's bad, to be honest. I want to start moving it on soon so this chapter is the beginning of the end so to speak. I hope to have the whole story finished by Christmas. (maybe) **


	18. Chapter 18

AN. I changed a bit in the last chapter to make this one make sense. If you missed it or read it before I changed it, all I was saying was that Sean has Lucas' toy as a way of bribing him out without Sara. Sara also told Sean to call it an adventure.

Chapter 18

Sean was out of his depth. He had acted strong in front of Sara but in fact he had no idea how to pull this off. He knew he should call the police or something but what if he got caught or if something didn't go to plan. Plus he had promised Sara he would get her son out of here no matter what but he knew there was little chance of finding any keys that would unlock the cuffs she was restrained in. As much as it pained him he was going to have to put Sara in a risky situation. He decided to get Lucas out of the way first and then call in help.

After stuffing Lucas' toy inside his jacket Sean went to the lounge and sat for a moment as to not raise suspicion. He gritted his teeth as the next man went in to do the unthinkable to Sara. After a reasonable amount of time he got up and murmured about going to the toilet. Sean was not familiar with the house but as he walked around it he saw it was in terrible condition. It was barely furnished and very dirty. Broken windows were common and within easy reach of a toddler. Sean couldn't believe a child was being raised here, but he was also sure the blood stains came from another donor. His anger at the whole situation only motivated his search for Lucas more. Eventually he found a room that had its door ajar and Sean could hear whimpering from within. What met him inside twisted his heart. The small cries came from behind a door which looked as though it lead on to a closet. It was locked from the outside.

Sean wasted no time in rushing to open it and gathering the young boy in his arms. 'What sort of sick man would lock a toddler in a small dark cupboard?' Sean thought he though furiously. Lucas started to fight and protest at the stranger's presence but Sean quickly put a hand over Lucas's mouth. Sean could see the fear in the young boy's eyes intensify as he did so but it was a necessary evil if he was to get them out of there.

"Listen sweetie, you can trust me I know your mother. I'm going to get you out of here."

At the mention of his mother Lucas shrieked. "I want my mummy! Pwease don't hurt me, I want my mummy!" Lucas started sobbing. Luckily Sean could not here any movement towards this side of the house so he hoped they had got off with the sudden outburst.

Getting very panicky by now Sean said, "I know darling but your mummy sent me to help you, look she told me to give you this toy." He pulled out the raggedy 'toy'. Lucas stopped fighting Sean momentarily and took the toy, eyeing the older man with suspicion.

"I know you're scared but your mum told me to take you on an adventure. She will come meet us when she can."

Lucas's eyes were still riddled with fear but he gave a small nod. That was all Sean needed. He left the room with Lucas and was relieved to see a sliding French door through the back of another nearby room.

He should've known it wouldn't be that easy though. The door was locked and he could see no keys nearby. He knew he didn't have much time and that it was unlikely he could search the house well enough for keys without being caught. Most rooms would involve passing the lounge where John was sitting. He rummaged the drawers in the room he was in now and in a couple of close by bedrooms but there was not much else at this side of the house. He had no other choice. He put Lucas down in a far corner of the room and made him promise to be quiet no matter what. After that he removed his sweater and wrapped it around his hand before punching the glass out of the door.

Sean's stomach twisted. He heard a commotion at the far end of the house and he knew he had been discovered. Terror swelled with in him. He knew it was now or never. He grabbed a screaming Lucas and bolted to the car. The sound of rushing footsteps behind him only spurred him on faster.

Sean put Lucas in the back of his car and tried to belt him in as fast as he could. He couldn't worry about the safety hazard of no child car seat when a much bigger risk was fast approaching. His heart broke as the young child shrieked. Lucas was gripping Sean's arm pleading him to protect him. The look in Lucas's eyes as he looked at his father winded Sean as he tried to not think about the upbringing this child had endured.

As much as Sean wanted to comfort the child now he knew he couldn't He separated himself from Lucas and tried to ignore the wailing the young child produced. He slammed the accelerator and drove for both his life and Lucas'. Somehow he knew John was out for blood.

Too bad it was going to be Sara that took his punishment for him.

AN. sorry its a bit short and rubbish. The next chapter should be better though


	19. Chapter 19

AN. I've wrote a bundle of chapters today so please review and I'll post them. Probably one a day. maybe quicker depending on response. i want to make sure these chapters are good since its the climax.

Chapter 19

It was a slow night so Grissom and the team were sitting in the break room enjoying a rare peace time. If only they knew that this was the calm before the storm.

Sara's disappearance was still a raw wound for everyone in that break room, the entire lab actually- even Ecklie although he would never admit it. A picture of Sara was framed and put next to the notice board as memorial. It was particular nice picture of her; a rare picture that captured her at her most natural with a gentle smile across her face. During quiet moments or difficult cases the picture provided encouragement, 'someone' to talk to or just a reminder of the determination Sara had. It was always enough to keep them going.

The team had grown closer since that horrible night. They now knew not to take those that they cared for, for granted any more. This shift was one of those comfortable times they were happy just to relax and be happy together. Catherine was on the phone to Lindsey, making arrangements to visit the younger Willows at college on her next day off. Nick, Warrick and Greg were in the middle of a heated but good natured debate about which of them would be most likely to survive if they were stranded on a desert island. Grissom was sitting quietly as normal but for some reason he didn't feel like this was normal. A funny feeling at the bottom of his stomach made him apprehensive, like something totally life changing was about to happen.

...

The gangs break was brought to an abrupt standstill as Sofia came running up to the room. She was completely out of breath so no one could understand her laboured attempts at telling them the news, " Br... S... found...c..mon.."

Grissom approached the young women, put a hand on her shoulder and asked to repeat herself.

"Brass just called. They have a lead. Sara. We might have found Sara."

Everyone froze. How else were they meant to react or even comprehend a statement like that? Sara was dead. They had mourned and grieved and tried to rebuild their lives. If she was alive, how did they lose her right under their noses?

Sofia stared back at the dumbstruck team. She needed to get them moving.

"We are going to the house now. It may be a dead end so doesn't get your hopes up but apparently the caller on the phone was pretty realistic. Are you coming with us?"

Everyone burst into motion, rushing for the cars and Catherine finished up on the phone with Lindsey telling her what had just happened and promised to keep her up to date.

The CSI family as they leapt in to a Denali and raced crazily towards their destination, Sofia in her patrol car and the other 5 all loaded into one car with Grissom driving, Catherine in the passenger seat and the other three in the back. Grissom's driving would have been terrifying under any normal circumstance but no one was paying the slightest bit of attention to it.

Sofia had passed on the address they were headed to. It choked everyone with terror, fear and self-hate. They had been to that house before. This was either going to prove another dead end again and they faced a crushing disappointment or due to someone's mistake or carelessness they had had left Sara to unknown horror for the last three years. Aside from that they were starting to fear what Sara had endured during her ordeal. What if she was alive? Was she the same girl that was taken from them? What if they really did loose Sara back then just not in the way they thought they had?

These were all questions troubling the CSIs as they made the journey to Sara's prison. Despite going twice the speed limit the journey was frustratingly slow. As their journey was nearing its end, tensions were running high. Grissom's knuckles were bone white as his grip on the steering wheel had not loosened to anything less than the tightness of a vice during the entire journey. Catherine was ghostly pale and her eyes brimming with tears of guilt and anguish. The painful feelings from three years ago were resurfacing. Nick mumbled under his breath "hold on Sara, we're coming, just stay strong" over and over while Warrick had his head in his hands and Greg prayed.

They pulled up and approached the house only to see a body bag being carried out the front door.


	20. Chapter 20

AN. Sorry for that last cliff-hanger. I like to be mean.

Chapter 20

They were too late, they had failed her once and then when by some miracle they got a chance to get her back they had screwed up again.

Grissom dropped to knees and shrieked a heart twisting "SARA!"

Greg stumbled back to the car before vomiting across the street.

Nick let out a sound somewhere between a yell and a cry and kicked the car wheel before letting his tears fall.

Catherine's make up was smeared across her face and dark tears ran across her cheeks. Warrick saw the distress of the women he had grown to care for and enveloped her against his body as sobs shook her body. His own tears cascading down his cheeks.

...

Brass followed the bag out the house and saw the horror ripple through the CSIs from across the garden. He realised what the scene must have looked like to them and he mentally kicked himself for causing them so much pain. He ran to the group of broken friends and quickly yelled, "it's not what it looks like, it's not Sara!"

They all looked up incredulously at the detective. None of them could handle their emotions getting mucked around with anymore today.

"It's the perp. We shot him. A rookie shot him I mean, but he will not be getting any hardship for I promise you that. The monster was going to kill Sara otherwise."

"You mean..." Grissom whispered.

"Yes! She's alive" brass cried. "The EMTs are with her now. Go to her. She needs you."

The CSIs didn't need told twice. Nothing could stop them storming through the hellhole of a house towards their lost loved one. Not anymore. They were not going to let anything happen to her again.

The sight that met the CSIs eyes almost traumatised them. They hadn't noticed the state of the house until this point, but now they did. Blood as a wall display could definitely make anything more noticeable.

Sara lay on the bed with fire and rescue trying to pry the chains of her while EMTs attempted to stabilise her. Sara was skeletal and her skin grey and traslucent. They could pick out almost every bone of her body with ease especially due to the fact she was completely naked. Angry black bruises scattered her skin but with the most intense surrounding her pelvis, between her legs and on her chest. Deep bloodied knife wounds created crevasses across her fragile body. Her face was swollen beyond recognition.

...

Three things happened almost simultaneously. The fire and rescue team removed Sara's restraints, Grissom became un-paralysed from his position by the door way and Sara started to cry out.

Grissom was by her side cradling her hand before the rest of the CSIs even had a chance to move. They soon stood behind Grissom to allow the EMTs room to save her but close enough to revel in the fact she was still fighting.

Her breathing was pained and laboured but still she spoke.

"Grissom" she whimpered.

"Sara I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Never again. I promise."

"We're all here. You're going to be okay Sara." Catherine piped up.

And then she did one thing that made the team flare up with euphoria. She smiled.

This made Catherine cry again and Warrick brought her towards him as both a comfort for and himself. He kissed the top of Catherine's head.

A mixture of "Good to see you girl", "It's so good to see you" and "Welcome back" swarmed Sara for a moment.

But as quickly as she had come back to them she started to fade away again.

Her body spasmed up and she started to cough blood.

"Sara! Stay with me. Please stay with me." Grissom begged as EMTs pushed him back. Grissom refused to let go of her though.

Sara started to settle but it was becoming hard to talk and she was losing consciousness.

"Lu.. Luc.." she coughed.

"Don't talk Sara, just breathe"

"No. Lucas. Is he okay? Please." She cried painfully, her whole body shaking.

Grissom was about to try and calm her again. He had no idea what she was on about and e assumed she was in shock. Catherine stopped him however and pointed towards a simple, worn down cot.

The sexual assaults she endured were obvious so Grissom wondered why it was so shocking to him that there was a child involved. Sara's child. ITS child.

Sara saw the disgust growing in Grissom's eyes.

"Please" she whispered. "Take care of him... make sure... make sure he knows I love him." She stopped for a moment as more blood flooded her mouth. "It's not his fault who is parents are. Or how he was brought into this world... Don't hate him for it. Please I love him so so much. Promise me he will be okay."

Grissom was still in shock so could only nod.

Just then an EMT interjected "We are ready for transport."

And Sara was lifted from him and carried hastily out towards the ambulance. Grissom never let go of her hand the entire way out of the house. He promised her he wouldn't leave her.

On the path way down to the drive however his world was turned upside down again.

"WE'RE LOSING HER!"


	21. Chapter 21

, sorry it took longer than expected. Also I know Lucas' speech improves a lot in this chapter. It was getting to hard to write it.

Chapter 21

"WE'RE LOSING HER!"

The EMTs started CPR while the CSIs looked on in paralysing horror.

Chest compressions. Oxygen mask with its bag being squeezed rhythmically. Defibrillator charging. Shock. And no response.

They tried again. Nothing.

Once more. They had her back.

The EMTs moved urgently and within seconds had her loaded up and ready to leave. Grissom followed them in and threw the car keys back to Catherine. No one dared argue with him.

...

The journey to the hospital was shorter than 10 minutes with in that time they almost lost her twice. Grissom sat with a tight grip on her hand as though the more he held on the less likely she could leave them. He stared at her bruised and angrily inflamed face and it shattered him. He needed her to wake up. Or even just squeeze her hand. She wasn't dead yet. He couldn't lose her again. It almost killed him the first time and in fact there was a large part of that had disappeared along with her that night.

At the hospital Sara was torn away from him. Grissom pushed and fought as much as he could. A warm hand on his shoulder made him turn round to see Catherine, red faced and eyes swimming in tears. She just gently shook her head and Grissom gave up his fight. He knew he had to let the save Sara.

...

Grissom sat in the break room with his head in his hands and Catherine had a hand on his back trying to comfort him. Warrick was filling Lindsey (who had arrived moments earlier) in on what she had missed. Nick was drinking a cup of hospital 'coffee' to try and quell his uneasiness and Greg was pacing.

The team's heads were numb from trying to work out what had just happened. Sara was back. But they also faced losing her again. She was such a mess when they found her. That monster had broken and abused her. Except he hadn't broken her, not really. She was a fighter and she was going to come back to them. She had too, they couldn't lose her now. Not again.

Just then the doors to the room opened.

The entire team leapt from their seats in hope that it was a doctor coming to tell them news of Sara. They quickly recovered from their disappointment of seeing it wasn't though, when they saw brass enter the room with a young man and a small boy. The team could immediately tell that the young boy was Lucas despite the fact his back was to them and his head buried into the young man's neck. They weren't sure why they automatically felt a connection to him.

"Everyone I'd like you to meet Sean Kirst, the man who discovered Sara for us and Lucas, and well, I guess you have heard who he is. Warrick and Greg gave a small nod while Nick stepped forward and shook Sean's hand sincerely. No one had the words to say anything. Catherine made her way forward to take Lucas. Her motherly instinct wanting to protect the boy. Part of her also felt a debt to Sara. Sara had protected her child, now Catherine should care for Sara's while Sara couldn't.

To her surprise though Grissom bet her to it.

Grissom approached Lucas uncertainly.

"Hello Lucas, are you okay?" Grissom asked shakily placing a careful hand on the toddlers arm. Slowly Lucas turned around in Sean's arms and the effect was astonishing. In the young boys face the CSIs saw Sara looking back at them. They were deep brown, full of fight and fire but love and innocence too. His hair was wavy with a small curl at the end and most bittersweet of all there was a small gap between his teeth. Lucas leant over to Sean's ear and whispered in it. With a small nod from Sean Lucas answered, "I'm okay," turning back to Brass Lucas asked, "What's going on? Where's mummy?"

Brass hesitated and looked at Catherine for help.

"Darling, I'm Catherine, a friend of your mummy's. The doctors are taking care of her at the moment. Do you know what that means?"

"uh huh, the man who made mummy sad was a doctor."

Catherine's heart broke at this. The simplicity but complete awareness of his situation.

"Not all doctor are like him darling. These ones will make her better" she said, hoping it wasn't a false statement.

"I know. Mummy used to tell me about a friend of hers who was doctor, Doctor Grissom. She said he was a good man. A bit grumpy sometimes though. Do you know him?" he asked Catherine innocently.

Catherine grinned and couldn't suppress her laugh. Sara still thought and joked about them. Maybe she was mentally strong enough to make it out of this ordeal. Catherine nodded in reply cheerfully.

Lucas suddenly brightened up at this news and knew he could trust these people. He stretched out as to go into Catherine's arms. Catherine took him happily but tried to ignore how thin the boy was for his age. Although she did notice he was also surprisingly healthy. Maybe not 100% but passable for a boy that hadn't lived in that house with that monster. Sara must have gone to great lengths for this boy.

"Can I see Dr Grissom?" Lucas asked while playing with Catherine's hair.

Grissom who had been frozen in shock at Lucas' mention of his name suddenly spluttered into life as Brass gave him an encouraging pat on the back.

Grissom coughed, "Lucas, I'm Doctor Grissom."

Grissom felt unexplainably nervous under the contemplating look Lucas was giving him. It was similar to how Sara could make him anxious.

"Huh, you don't look grumpy, just tired... and kind of scared."

Grissom didn't know how to respond to that, "I suppose it's been a busy day."

"It's okay to be scared Doctor Grissom. When I'm scared I give my teddy a hug. His name is Howard. Do you want a shot?" he held out Howard eagerly. Grissom took the toy as to appease Lucas.

"My mummy made me Howard. She told me he would always take care of me, especially if I was ever scared or alone. I would talk to him sometimes when mum disappeared with Mr. John for a long time. Howard's a good listener."

If the CSIs weren't already fully aware of how much they missed and needed Sara they were now. Hearing how strong and caring she had been filled them with difficult bittersweet emotions. If she didn't make it they had no idea what they would do.

...

The next few hours were a tense waiting game. The presence of Lucas was both painful and joyous. In one way he was reminder to what the pair had endured. Not because they held a grudge against him for the nature of his conception; he could do nothing about it and being the child of Sara overruled that a billion times over. It was more to do with the fact he was wise beyond his age and for all the wrong reasons. Sara had obviously tried to give him as normal an upbringing as possible but when a child thinks it is normal for his mother to be bleeding and broken (even if he realises it s a bad thing) you can't help for you blood to boil.

However they all fell in love with him immediately and he was well and truly part of their CSI family. He may have been a symbol was Sara's ordeal but more importantly he was a symbol for Sara's courage. Lucas shared many of the qualities and quirks they loved in Sara. His intelligence, compassion and love. They all knew that even if they never saw Sara alive again they would always have a part of her with them. They would raise Lucas as their own.

...

It was approximately 8 hours since Sara had disappeared behind the emergency room doors. Lucas was asleep in Lindsey's arms and had Howard back in his embrace. He was the only one to find peace though. Everyone else was at their wits end. Brass had long ago taken Sean down to the station for an interview and was now conducting the investigation in to the group of men John had had over to 'have fun' with Sara. The others wanted whatever revenge they could get for Sara knowing John had got off too easy with death but they could not be moved away from that room.

Things were getting desperate now. Everyone one of the CSIs had at some point needed a stress relieving walk into the adjacent courtyard or if not had broken down into tears.

It was approaching the tenth hour when the doctor walked through the door to meet them.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Family of Sidle?" The tired looking doctor shouted out.

The doctor was taken aback when all 6 of them stood up but did question it. He could see the desperation in their eyes.

"How is she?" Nick asked urgently

The doctor sighed and everyone's hearts plummeted.

"Alive I suppose but that's the best I can say. She has been through an awful ordeal and it's a wonder she made it this long. Most of her injuries are old and have healed, some well and others not so much. We can fix them at some point if necessary but right now we need her condition to improve.

There are quite a lot of fresh injuries though and she is very malnourished. She has a broken leg, 2 fractured ribs and some internal bleeding that we managed to fix up in surgery but is still a risk. Most of all we are worried about the fact that she has slipped into a coma. We will know more about how she is doing if and when she wakes up. She is strong though I'll give her that. You have a fighter there, but she is going to need a hell of a lot of help to make it out of this."

Grissom was frozen in shock so Catherine asked, "Can we see her?"

"Of course, the more familiar voices around the more likely she will wake up. She is in room 5012 in ICU."

Catherine nodded and thanked him before following everyone up to the room.

….

They stood outside the door apprehensive about what would await them inside. Lindsey opted to stay outside with the still sleeping Lucas; she almost felt she didn't deserve to see Sara now, not after everything she had done to put her there in the first place.

Catherine took the plunge first and went in, quickly followed by the others. She didn't say anything but she gave Sara a gentle kiss on the forehead hoping it would convey her feelings to unaware brunette. Catherine ran her fingers through Sara's hair for a moment. She needed to maintain contact with her to really believe she was back.

Grissom, who was next in, hesitantly looked over to the bed. The image that he saw was more than he could bear. She was so still. For a horrible moment he believes she's dead but the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor reassures him. He goes to her side and feels helpless. He wishes he could do something for her but all he can do is hold her hand and let her know he is there with her.

Warrick however was more discrete with his emotions. He approached the end of the bed and put a hand on Sara's leg cast. He remained strong and silent but everyone who knew him could see the pain in his eyes at seeing someone he cared about so much in such pain.

Greg was also quiet. He sat in a chair near the foot of the bed but did not say or do anything. He looked anywhere but at Sara. He couldn't accept that this was her, broken and bruised with no glimmer of a smile or the usual fire in her eyes. This was a shell that his Sara used to live in. he didn't mourn or feel sadness because this wasn't his Sara; or at least he could convince himself that for now, to make the pain easier to deal with.

Nick was the only one to say anything, "Hey girl, you remember us? We're all here with you right now; you just need to wake up okay? We have Lucas too. He's safe so you don't have to worry. I know he misses you though so you better come back to us quick! We will take care of him in the mean time though. He's an amazing little boy Sara; you should be so proud. We all love him."

"Thank you Nick" a small voice said from the door.

He turned round to see Lucas and Lindsey. Lucas looked as if he had just woken up and Lindsey looked apologetic, "Sorry, he wanted to see Sara."

"No, don't worry, of course he should." Nick walked over to them and took Lucas in his arms. Sara was blocked from their view by Grissom and Greg.

"Sweetie, I'll take you to your mum, but I have to warn you it looks scary, but all this stuff is to help her okay?"

Lucas gave a small nod. Nick carried him over ready to comfort the boy if needed. However Lucas surprised them all again and reached out to sit on the bed with his mother. Nick let him but warned him to be careful.

"Hi mum," he started while crawling up slowly beside Sara. He lay down next to her and gave her a gentle hug while being careful of the tubes and wires that surrounded her. "It's good to see you again. Thanks for sending Sean to get me. And he made sure the police got to you too. Some people say they were too late and Mr. John still hurt you but I know you will be okay. You always are. You're like one of the superheroes in the stories you tell me.

I know you are tired so have a sleep now if you like; I just had one in the waiting room and I feel better now. Your friend Lindsey gave me a hug and your other friend Nick read me a story. It was a funny story about a horse and a chicken but not as good as your stories. Your friends are all really nice and I know what you mean when you said they were our family. But they are all sad. Not real sad anymore but I think they were before they found you again. They miss you a lot mum, just like you miss them. But you don't have to miss each other anymore. Everyone wants to see you again so after you have had a good sleep it's time to get up okay?"

Just then the monitors started beeping chaotically. Nurses ran in and chucked everyone out ungracefully. Catherine grabbed Lucas who had started crying and followed everyone out while trying to hold back her own tears. Grissom who was being forced out by a joint effort of all three boys had gone ghost white. As soon as he was out the door he slid to the ground, held his head in his hands and sobbed.

….

None of them knew how long they had been waiting since time had stopped meaning anything but when the doctor came out all of them were on the brink. Depending on what news the doctor had for them would determine if the CSIs broke. This made what the doctor had to say all the better.

"She's awake."

Grissom shot past the doctor, perhaps rudely but the doctor was experienced enough to understand. He ran back into Sara's room and only vaguely noticed that the rest of the team had followed. Without a moment's hesitation Grissom embraced Sara and gave her a loving kiss.

Perhaps before this whole ordeal people would have found this act shocking but both Sara and Grissom found it natural. No questions needed to be asked. No one on the team found it the slightest bit surprising either. They had all known for a long time they felt for each other and under such extreme conditions nothing was unexpected anymore.

They separated quickly however and Grissom stood back but kept a hand on her shoulder. As much as Sara cared about Grissom and every other member of her CSI family there was one person she needed to see before anyone else. Catherine who was holding Lucas came forward understanding the maternal instinct that was bothering Sara.

As soon as Sara had her arms around her son again she started to cry. Not sobs of pain or fear or anger but tears of overwhelming joy. Both mother and child held each other tightly. The rest of the team stood nearby with large grins on their face and no one was even trying to conceal emotions anymore. They were careful to break Sara's necessary moment with Lucas but they all embraced her too. Everything was going to be okay now.

AN. And there you go.

**This is NOT the final chapter. Not by a long shot.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Lucas had fallen asleep in Sara's arms and despite the fact the hospital had brought a small bed in for him Sara wasn't ready to let go yet. She knew she should rest but she didn't want to for a number of reasons but the main one being she had only just got her family back and she wasn't ready to say goodbye yet even if it was only temporary.

Everyone was still in the room even if hours had passed. They hadn't talked yet. Well they had spoken but they hadn't really talked while Lucas was awake but Sara knew the questions were about to come.

No one seemed to know what to say so Sara took pity on them and started. She noticed Lindsey had been very quiet so far. The rest had been very open and embracing but the young women had hung back.

"Lindsey is everything...?" she started but was interrupted with a sob from Lindsey.

"Don't be nice to me! Please don't! Shout at me, chuck me out and tell me how much you hate me or something. I'm sorry Sara I honestly am, but I don't deserve your forgiveness."

Sara was shocked both by the girl's outburst and by the fact that she felt this way. "You're right Lindsey, you don't deserve forgiveness, but only because you don't deserve to think forgiveness was required. Sweetie you did nothing wrong."

Catherine squeezed Sara's arm in thanks.

"If it hadn't been for me provoking..."

"Lindsey, listen to me. You did nothing wrong. This was not your fault. It was theirs. They terrorised you and they took me. You were just unlucky to have crossed their paths. I don't regret stopping them either and every single member of this team would have done the same in my position."

Lindsey continued to look at the ground so Sara stretched out on arm while holding Lucas securely in the other, "come here."

Lindsey didn't dare refuse. Sara pulled her onto the bed and then into as deep a hug as their position would allow. The small whimpers that Lindsey had been previously making escalated into to full sobs now.

"Shh, Shh don't cry. It's okay sweetie." Sara whispered softly.

They remained that way for quite a while until Lindsey started to calm down. Lindsey felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The young women then insisted on going to get some stuff Sara would need for her stay in hospital. After Sara had disappeared they had had to sell her apartment when they could no longer afford the rent but all her stuff was still in storage. Sara knew Lindsey still felt she had to atone for what had happened and even though Sara thought this feeling was totally unfounded she let Lindsey go, hoping it would ease some of her anguish.

After Lindsey was gone Sara looked around at the others. Greg had sidled up to Sara's other side across from Catherine. Unlike the other men who took the roles of older brother or lover Greg was more of a younger brother to Sara and ever since she had woken up he was constantly needing to be close to Sara in seek of comfort (although he would never admit it). Sara thought this was sweet and took his hand again as he was looking quite agitated.

She had been aware this whole ordeal had hurt more people than herself but it was never as evident as it was now. Greg genuinely feared he was going to lose her again. He was not the only one showing signs of upset.

Catherine had also remained close for the last few hours trying to tend to Sara's every whim. Sara had a suspicion that Lindsey was not the only Willows that felt a debt was owed. Sara knew she was going to have to let them know that they did not owe her anything and she did not hold anything against either of them. However she did think this was an almost impossible task. She looked at Lucas and knew that if anyone ever helped keep him from harm or endured the sort of pain Sara had on his behalf she would never be able to repay them.

Warrick and Nick also showed signs of how the last few years had hurt them. They both looked like they had aged more than a few years. Not that they weren't still good looking but they looked tired and Sara wondered if their alcohol consumption ad been affected as a result of her kidnap. It pained her to think they had suffered because of her. That any of them had.

Grissom was the worst affected. He had lost considerable weight in the last few years and looked like a shell of a broken man. If you looked into his eyes though he was very much alive and Sara knew he was still there and had probably never truly left, not while there was still a chance and definitely not when his team still needed him.

Warrick was the first to break the silence.

"Girl, it's so good to have you back. We're sorry we gave up on you."

"All evidence said I was dead Warrick, it's not like you decided to leave me there."

"We were in that house 3 years ago and we were too stupid to find you. You can have been with us all this time but we let you down" Nick murmured this time in a low growl.

"It was concealed, you weren't meant to find me."

Warrick answered this time, "damn girl, stop let us off with everything. We let you down. That monster had you for three years. He tortured you, he abused you and we sat back and didn't do our jobs well enough when it mattered most!"

Sara knew she was going to have to be forceful about this. She couldn't let them believe this was their fault or it would break them.

"Stop it!" she said firmly but without raising her voice so she wouldn't wake her son. "This is no one's fault was but those _men. _It's not yours Warrick or yours Nick or Lindsey's or anyone else's. He was a screwed up monster and I hope he rots in hell but he was the one that raped me and used me and hurt me. Not anyone else. And yes it was horrible; there were times I wanted to die. It wasn't until Lucas was born that I knew that death and giving up wasn't an option. But I'm scared. I know he's dead but that doesn't make it any better. I'm scared someone will come in here any moment and take me away again, or that someone will try to hurt me or break me. And what about Lucas? He deserves so much more than a dead abuser as a dad and a broken unstable mother. I've tried my best for him but what if it isn't good enough?

The only thing that is keeping me together right now is that I have you all to help me. No one has let me down here and no one is at fault. I know this must have been horrible for you all and it a lot of ways this must have been worse for you with all the uncertainty. At least I knew you were all safe and alive. But don't let them break you. Please I need you all right now. I need your help."

Everyone was stunned by Sara's emotion rant and plea for help.

Greg was first to offer his support. He embraced her in a bear hug. "You are the strongest person I know, you know that Sara? And don't think for a moment you are broken or unstable, okay?"

Catherine was next, "yeah, he's right and for the record Lucas is lucky to have you. He's a wonderful little boy and you are an amazing mother!"

Greg stepped back and Nick come in for his hug, "Sara, we are all here for you okay? You don't need to be scared. You are going to be alright."

Warrick replied to this, "Better than aright, girl! You are going to be fantastic."

To which Grissom said, "She's already fantastic. Sara, you and Lucas are safe now and you don't need to be scared, alright? You are home and Lucas is going to live the life he deserves. He will grow up to be an outstanding man and both you and he have your family behind you here every step of the way."

Sara had a feeling these tears were going to be a regular occurrence from now on. She knew that she would be crying in fear or anger throughout the long road to recovery in front of her. But for now her tears were tears of happiness. There was truth in all their words. She was home at last.

...

AN. Sorry if that was too soppy but I like it and I'm the writer ;)


	24. Chapter 24

AN. I'm really sorry it took so long to update.

Chapter 24

Sara lay there frustrated. She was utterly bored having read every magazine the team had brought for her. She knew she should be sleeping so she could recover but there's only so much sleeping you can force your body to do, plus she wasn't used to the situation where she could sleep freely. She'd grown accustomed to trying to take as little sleep as possible, never feeling comfortable leaving Lucas unattended for too long in that place. Sara turned slightly to check on Lucas, who was in a smaller adjacent bed, for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She knew it was unnecessary now to be so over-protective of her son but it was going to be a long time until she could let go of that particular feeling.

They had been in the hospital for a few days now. Lucas had been well enough to go home after one night in hospital, probably sooner but nurses and doctors had wanted to keep an eye on him just in case. He was still here though because the attempt to take him out of the hospital had ended badly. Catherine had volunteered to bring him home to her place but after a few hours of him being in her care she had to give up. It had obviously distressed him tremendously to be away from his mother for so long and Sara who had really only agreed to this plan in the first place because she didn't want to be selfish was partly relieved that Lucas was back with her. They weren't ready for that step yet, apparently.

Lost in her thoughts Sara hadn't noticed that night had turned into morning and that a certain blonde haired CSI was at her door.

"Hi, sweetie. I thought I'd drop in after shift. Is that okay? I can come back another time if you're tired." Catherine asked.

Sara was tired but the last thing she wanted was for Catherine to leave. As much as she had insisted that everyone went back to work and continued on as normal she was beginning to miss the constant company and reassurance. Of course Grissom had been here. He had totally refused to leave her yet but by the third day she had insisted he went for a shower, a proper meal and a good sleep.

Sara smiled at Catherine and tried to sit up and put herself into a more comfortable position. Her ribs made this problematic though Catherine who saw her struggling hurried over to help Sara lift herself up and she arranged the pillows behind her.

"Thanks," Sara murmured quietly but sincerely. Catherine responded with a small smile and a clasp of her shoulder.

The two women sat in silence for a moment until Sara asked, "How's Lindsey?"

Catherine couldn't help but laugh. The younger woman never failed to surprise her.

"What?" Sara asked confused.

"You're the one lying in a hospital bed, recovering from a physical and emotional trauma and you are still looking out for others."

Sara gave a small shrug, "She seemed upset the other day. I was worried about her."

Catherine ruefully smiled. "She's okay. Thank you for asking."

"But..." Sara persisted.

"You haven't lost any of your CSI observation skills have you" Catherine responded incredulously.

"It's a gift, now stop avoiding the question" Sara responded in mock impatience.

Catherine sighed but also felt a hint of joy at the encounter. She loved the small moments where their whole situation faded away and they could banter like the old days.

Catherine replied, "The last few years have been, well... difficult, I suppose for her. For everyone. She really did blame herself. When you told her the other day that you didn't blame her, a massive load was lifted. She still feels guilty and I think in a way she always will but now she feels it's okay to let go and try and move on. Thank you."

Sara replied to this, "It was nothing. I meant what I said. This isn't anyone's fault. Well except their's but you get my point. I'm just sorry everyone else has had such a hard time for the last few years."

"Seriously Sara stop worrying about us. Let us worry about you for a bit. How are you doing?"

Sara looked down at the blankets covering her and murmured, "Fine."

Catherine rolled her eyes and put a hand under Sara's chin, making the younger women look at her. "Sara, stop it. You can't bury this. You are so used to having to be strong but you don't have to anymore, okay? It isn't good for you or for Lucas. Let us help you; you can talk to me."

Despite Sara's best efforts some tears started to trickle down her cheeks quickly followed by floods. Catherine sat on the side of the bed and gathered Sara in her arms, careful not to provoke any of her injuries. She hadn't meant to make Sara break down like this but on the other hand she was glad she was finally letting her emotions show. When Sara started to quieten down Catherine moved back but Sara panicked and tried to clutch Catherine back again. Catherine noticed the hesitation and came back and put an arm around Sara who looked away embarrassed, "sorry I didn't mean to react like that. I don't know what happened."

Catherine tightened her grasp around Sara, "I do. I'm guessing you feel quite scared right now. You don't really know how to respond to your situation. On one hand you know you're safe. You're home and you want to move on and put everything behind you; you want to go back to normal. But you also know things will never be normal again. Or at least normal will come to mean something different. In some ways that is a good thing and some ways it is not, but the uncertainty is hard to deal with. You've also been thrown in to the deep end of mother hood. You love Lucas. More than your own life probably but you wish it had been different. That he could have the best life possible and he didn't have to grow up the way he has so far. You blame yourself, even if you know it's irrational, because you are his mother and you feel like you should have found a way for him not to have suffered."

Sara looked up at Catherine questioningly, "how did you know?"

"I cannot for one minute compare my life to you ordeal but I am a mother and for all intents and purposes a single mother. When I had Lindsey my life wasn't in a great place but I had friends to help me get through it. It gets better though. Not easier but better. You will always be scared for Lucas. Every single thing he does will have you on an emotional rollercoaster but it will be worth it and you will definitely not be doing this alone.

But there is not just the mother hood side of things. Your head must be all over the place right now after what that monster did to you but it's going to be okay. I promise you sweetie. No matter how long it takes we'll help you get through this."

Sara nodded her thanks and tears started to pour again. Catherine leaned down and placed a small kiss on the crown of Sara's head.

"Why Catherine? Why did this have to happen? IT'S NOT FAIR!" Sara cried, finishing on a scream as loud as her broken ribs would allow, and then breaking down into sobs.

Catherine's heart broke. There was no real reason for what happened other than some screwed up monster decided he wanted to. Sara's life had been ruined not for some greater purpose or something she could find closure for. One little man's mind was so damaged and now Sara would have to live with what he had done for the rest of her life. Sara deserved an answer at the very least but she didn't have one to give.

"I don't know sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Catherine held Sara close hoping she could give her some comfort but knowing it was not going to be enough.

At some point in the conversation Lucas had woken up.

"Mummy, what's wrong?"

Sara looked over slightly taken aback. She recovered quickly though and cleared her throat, "nothing sweetheart don't worry."

"But you're crying." He argued while letting Catherine move him from his bed into his mother's.

"It's okay darling, I'm sorry I worried you. Nothing's wrong, I promise. Everything is going to be fine. Do you want me to tell you a story?" Lucas nodded eagerly.

Sara may feel fragile at the moment but Catherine could see Lucas gave her the strength she needed. Catherine sat back and watched the tender private moment between mother and son. In a way she felt like she was intruding but Sara wasn't letting her go anywhere. She looked down and saw that her hand was enclosed in Sara's. It was this strong independent woman's discreet way of asking a friend for the comfort she needed right now.

...

AN. Like I said sorry this took so long but between exams and family dramas I had no time. I'm on holiday now so I hope to write a decent chunk before I need to go back to uni. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I've done my best but its quite hard to get inside the head of an emotional and physically abused woman.

I'm not completely happy with this chapter but I don't think I ever will be. I know Sara didn't say very much but in a way I decided to keep it that way. Sara would probably not know what to say or how she's feeling except that she feels vulnerable.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and best of luck for 2013.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Sara was making good progress in hospital. She was able to sit up without too much pain and the bruising and swelling had gone down mostly. There were no signs of the long term illnesses the doctors anticipated such as brain damage or her major organs not functioning properly either. Her leg was still in a cast but she knew she was lucky if that's all she had to deal with physically. She would be back on her feet in no time. The biggest problem was anxiety. Her rational mind knew she was home and safe and that Carter was dead. This didn't quieten her irrational mind. She still couldn't sleep well at night in fear that someone would come to hurt her or her son. She had trouble trusting people too. She was okay around the team but apart from Catherine's visit she hadn't spoken to them yet about what happened and even then she hadn't really told Catherine anything she didn't already know. But even if she could open up she had no idea what she would say or where to begin; it felt like someone had taken all her thoughts put them in a blender then deposited them back in her head. She felt happy to be home, ecstatic that she could give Lucas a better life now, nervous about what faced her in the future, excited about her new relationship with Grissom but too vulnerable to allow much intimacy with him all at the same time. It was overwhelming and she had no idea what to do about it. On top of all that thoughts of the last three years terrorised her day and night. She had kept them under control while she had been in that house because she couldn't afford to break down. She had often gone into autopilot but now that she had let her barriers down she had to deal with it. This was probably another reason she had trouble speaking about her ordeal; she didn't want to think about it more than she had too.

The team noticed that she was struggling emotionally too. They did what they could for her. She appreciated the fact that they didn't push her to talk about it and just made sure she knew they were there for her. The gang was more worried than they let on though. Not only was she struggling emotionally but she was having trouble putting weight back on. Doctors confirmed this was for no physical reason and she was able to eat and digest normally, it was a psychological issue and once again Sara wouldn't talk to them about it and only got annoyed if they tried.

About a week after they first brought into hospital Sara, Lucas and Grissom sat alone in the room. Grissom was holding Lucas so that Sara could eat her dinner; but things were never going to be that simple.

"Sara please. Just have a little bit." Grissom pleaded.

Sara just stared at the food as she pushed it around the plate with her fork. She was biting her lip to hold back tears.

"Please sweetie, you know they won't let you leave here until you put some weight on. I just want you and Lucas home."

Sara glared at him, her eyes alight with anger and frustration, "and you think I don't?"

"Honey, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, it's just... I wish we could take you home and get on with things. For everything to go back to normal." He admitted picking up the hand that was not holding her cutlery and lightly kissing her knuckles.

Sara looked away and continued pushing the food around the plate. She was ashamed of her outburst; Grissom only had her best interests at heart. "I know. I'm sorry. But things are never going to be normal again Grissom," she sighed in a tone that suggested she was resigned to her situation.

"No, I suppose you're right but we can make the best of it. I love you, you know?"

Sara smiled slightly but with sadness in her eyes, "you just think you do, Grissom. It's just the fallout of everything that has been going on. In a couple of months it'll be back to the way things were."

Just like the occasional times before when Sara had given him an insight to her thoughts Grissom was shocked. How could she think that after everything that they had been through?

His reply was calm with an undertone of anger, "Sara look at me." When she refused he just stared at her until she relented. Finally she looked into his eyes with tears brimming in hers. "I know I have hurt you in the past and I'm sorry for that; you have no idea how much I regretted pushing you away after I thought we had lost you. I love you."

Sara looked away again at those last few words.

"Sara, I asked you to look at me."

She reluctantly looked back at him.

"Thank you," he said sternly and then continued more calmly, "I understand if you don't want to trust me. In our line of work we see abuse victims all the time and how the idea of close relationships scares them. We can take things at a speed you are more comfortable with or not at all if that's what you want. I won't judge you and no hard feelings."

Grissom regretted saying this the moment it left his mouth. Sara looked petrified and her eyes were swimming intears that she was desperately trying to hold back, "No, I'm not scared of you and I do trust you. It's only _him_ I hate. I sort of compartmentalised everything. I'm not scared of men. He was so far gone from being recognisably human I don't associate him with you or the boys, you all mean the world to me. I want to be with you, honestly I do."

"Then why do you think I'll hurt you? Did I do something?"

"No Grissom," she shook her head vigorously. "You didn't do anything wrong. Quite the opposite. You've been so good to me and Lucas. It's more than I deserve." Again she looked away, ashamed and vulnerable, and she withdrew her hand using it to push away her untouched plate of dinner. She had disclosed more information than she was ready to right now but something about Grissom made it easy to do so.

Grissom didn't know what to reply. He was very confused.

"Sara what do you mean it's more than you deserve?"

Sara shrugged not wanting to let more barriers down than already were.

"Did _he_ make you think that?" Grissom asked in disgust.

Sara took her time in replying, unsure of how much to disclose. She figured in the end there was no point hiding this from Grissom anymore.

"I suppose, yes. He always told me that it was my fault I was there and that he was only treating me the way I deserve."

Grissom couldn't stop the tear falling at that moment but after that he reigned himself in. He couldn't show Sara how much he was hurting. If this last revelation was true then she would blame herself.

Instead he asked, "and you believed him?" his question wasn't judgemental or incredulous, just rueful.

"I tried to fight him, not let get inside my head but I guess sometimes it's easier to believe what you are told than look for a reason where there isn't one. When Lucas was born I sort of came back to myself again but he quickly found my weak spot."

"Lucas?" it was more of a statement than a question. Sara just nodded.

"How did he use Lucas against you?" Grissom asked not wanting Sara to clam up now that she was talking.

"Lots of things. He made it like he was taking on a massive burden when I got pregnant. He acted as if it was my fault. He wouldn't let me out the house obviously but I had to earn the money he was spending on Lucas in other ways..."

Grissom couldn't hold back his alarm this time. He knew she had been through a lot but hearing it made things real. She didn't have to finish the sentence for him to understand what had happened.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," he sighed taking her hand back again. Sara just shrugged and looked down at her food again.

She really wanted to be able to eat properly again. It would mean she was on the road to recovery and wouldn't feel like she was stuck in an inescapable rut anymore.

Grissom followed her train of thought; "Did he do something that made you not want food? I thought a nice hot meal would be one of the first things you wanted." Grissom said trying to keep the tone light.

"I don't know why it's so hard. It's just that there was never much food about. Whenever I ate it felt like I was depriving Lucas of some. It felt like I was hurting him so I kept my food to minimum. I know I don't have to worry about that anymore just like I don't have to worry about him coming through that door to take me away again but it's not that easy to shake the feeling." She told him. She was quite proud of herself for voicing all this. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her.

"I wish I knew how to help you." Grissom said in a pained voice, rubbing her arm lightly in order to try and comfort her.

Sara sighed, "I guess it'll take a while."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while then suddenly Grissom had an idea. "What if Lucas ate some too? That way you can see he is getting food and you can focus on that?"

"It's worth a shot." She replied with a small but sceptical smile.

Grissom turned to Lucas who had been sitting on his lap up to this point off in his own little world drawing pictures and completely oblivious to the adults conversation.

"Lucas?" Grissom asked to get his attention. "Would you like to help your mum eat her dinner?"

Lucas wasn't sure what was going but he nodded anyway. Grissom held Lucas on his waist and sat on the side of the bed where there was plenty of room. Sara's small body didn't require much space.

Grissom picked up the fork and got a piece of pasta on the end of it. He held it to Lucas who ate it happily and then he held it to Sara and told her it was her turn. It took her a lot of effort but she eventually managed to swallow the forkful of food. Grissom swelled with pride; it was small step but he knew they would get there in the end.

The small makeshift family spent the rest of the evening together like this. After they got through two thirds of the plate Grissom knew Sara had done enough for one day so they settled down and Grissom and Sara together told Lucas a bed time story. It was the one where the mighty hero, Lucas the explorer visits the crime lab and helps catch the bad guys.

The doctor at the door looked in on the small group and smiled. He decided the bad news could wait until tomorrow.

...

AN. Don't overreact to the cliff-hanger. I'm going to defeat the point of a cliff hanger and tell you it isn't that bad.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

When Warrick, Catherine, Nick and Greg visited the next day they noticed a difference in Sara. They didn't bring it up so she wouldn't feel self conscious but they didn't have too. Not long after they first arrived a nurse came in with some lunch for Sara and a small plate of food for Lucas (at Grissom's request they were eating together from now on). To everyone's surprise bar Grissom Sara started eating the food with no hesitation. While they all looked at each in shock Grissom and Sara shared a small smile.

"You're allowed to say it guys. I know it's weird that I'm eating again." Sara smirked.

Greg broke from his silence first. "What? When?"

Sara smiled proudly as she replied, "Last night."

Warrick stood up and came to embrace Sara, "I'm so proud of you girl."

"Thank you" she replied shyly equally returning the hug, "but should you really be hugging me like this with your girlfriend sitting just over there?" she asked jokingly, trying to divert the attention off of her.

Warrick pulled back to look at Sara in shock and Catherine spluttered her coffee everywhere at this remark.

"Sara? What makes you think that we are dating." Catherine asked nervously.

"Firstly I'm not blind. Your seats are like half a centimetre from each other. And you keep sharing these looks."

Catherine and Warrick just looked at each other, neither sure what to do.

"Am I wrong?" Sara asked in mock seriousness barely keeping the grin off her face.

Their silence was answer enough for Sara.

"I knew it!" Sara exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you. Sorry though, I didn't realise it was a secret."

Catherine gave a resigned smile, "It's okay, darling." She then turned to the others, "we were going to tell you, we just never found the right time."

Grissom waved her explanation away and smiled, "We already knew."

Nick and Greg who had been silently guffawing ever since Catherine's coffee incident doubled up even more, if that was even possible, at the couples faces when Grissom revealed this.

Catherine was speechless and all Warrick could say was, "How?"

"How did we know?" Grissom asked. Warrick nodded.

Nick decided this was the time to speak up, "Give us some credit man! We are investigators."

"Yeah," Greg chimed in. "You two lovebirds couldn't stop undressing each other with your eyes."

"Okay, we get it," Catherine interrupted, "back to the original point though, well done Sara. I'm happy you're making progress."

"Thanks Catherine" she mumbled again timid from being the centre of attention.

The atmosphere was lighter in the room than it had been all week. Sara had taken a big step forward and everyone was beginning to see more of the old Sara they all knew and loved. They knew she would never going to be exactly the same; you can't go through what she did and not change but perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing, especially if Lucas and Grissom were catalysts in this.

Everyone was still in high spirits when the doctor came in an hour later. That was until he uttered the words, "Miss Sidle may I talk to you in private for a moment?"

Sara looked at the others and saw her own worry reflected back at her. "Anything you want to tell me you can tell these guys. I trust them." she told the doctor in a shaky voice.

"Very well, I'm sorry Miss Sidle but social services have been in contact. They are unsure whether you're a fit mother for Lucas."

Sara's world stopped just then. They couldn't do this. She couldn't lose Lucas. It would kill her. Her chest began to tighten and she was struggling to breath. This couldn't be happening. Everyone was on their feet ready to fight for Sara. They were quickly distracted though when they noticed Sara's reaction. Grissom was first to spot the signs of her oncoming panic attack.

"Sara, look at me. Look at me, Sara. Good girl. Everything is going to be okay. We'll deal with this. I'll fight this with you okay. They won't take Lucas away!" he told her strongly hoping he wasn't making empty promises. It was evident Sara couldn't hear him though. She was becoming catatonic. The doctor hadn't expected this reaction. He quickly joined Sara on the opposite side from Grissom and helped try to pull her out of the panic attack before they needed to resort to sedatives. Grissom looked over to Catherine quickly and motioned for her to get a frantic Lucas out of here. He didn't need to see his mother like this.

"Sara you need to breath." The doctor told her sternly. It was still useless.

Grissom put a hand either side of her face, "Sara please look at me. You need to calm down. I promise you everything will be okay. But you have to stay strong. If you break down now you are helping social services find reasons to intervene. You need to show them how strong you are. For Lucas." He knew he had said the magic words. She gradually began to calm down again. It took 15 minutes but eventually she was calm enough to start talking to the doctor again.

"What's going to happen?" she asked timidly.

"Tomorrow morning they will come for an interview. Talk to Lucas, maybe some friends and from there they will decide if any more action is required. But I should let you know that it is only in extreme cases they would take Lucas away from you. It's more likely that they will offer different support groups and monitor the situation. If I were you I would mention that you will not be living with him alone. You said you and Mr Grissom here were moving in together, is that right?"

Sara nodded. They had settled on that early on once she had found out she no longer had an apartment.

"Good. I know it's scary but try not to worry. Despite contrary opinions they are trying to help you and Lucas. I'll make sure I let them know how well you're doing too."

"Thank you doctor," Grissom replied.

The doctor nodded and left the couple alone. Grissom got up on the bed beside Sara and held her close while she cried into his shoulder.

...

AN. I was going to make this longer but I was beginning to lose focus. It's almost three in the morning here so I thought I'd put up what I'd done and continue tomorrow. I might edit it slightly in the morning if I think its rubbish.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Grissom was worried. Sara hadn't said a word since the doctor left. She was shutting off again to try and protect herself. They may have taken a step forward last night but he felt like this was taking two steps back. And if the interview didn't go well tomorrow he wasn't sure Sara could ever recover.

An hour after the doctor left, a worried Catherine knocked on the door. She handed back Lucas to Sara who sprung back in to life at the sight of her son. It didn't miss Catherine or Grissom's notice that her newfound happiness didn't quite reach her eyes. Grissom wondered if this haunting sight resembled Sara manner for the last few years in that house with Lucas.

Catherine motioned to Grissom to come outside for a moment.

"What's going on?" she asked in a hushed tone.

Grissom ran a hand through his hair. "A social worker is going to come by tomorrow. He'll talk to Sara and Lucas and decide if social services need to intervene. Worst case scenario they may take Lucas away."

"But she's doing really well. Surely they'll see that." Catherine said, trying to convince herself more than Grissom.

"Maybe, but she'll be under a lot of pressure."

"It'll be ok, Grissom. You just have to make sure she knows you're there for her and she will hold it together. Is there anything we can do?"

"The doctor said the social worker may want to talk to some friends. Just to see what sort of support network she has. Could you come and talk to him at some point?"

"Of course, you don't even have to ask. We'll be here right after shift tomorrow. I'll go and let the guys know." She reassured him giving him a small pat on the arm.

Just as Catherine was about to turn away Grissom called her back.

"Yes?" she asked turning around.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. Don't think I don't notice how much you do for me, not just covering for me at the lab this week but being there when I needed someone these last few years. You've really helped the guys too. You've helped hold us all together. I know loosing Sara wasn't easy for you either."

"It's nothing Grissom, honestly." She smiled, giving a tight hug which he returned gladly.

"I'll make it up to you one day, Catherine."

"Don't worry about it. Just take care of Sara for us, okay?"

"I promise," he smiled at his best friend.

She let him out of the embrace and headed down to the cafeteria to fill the boys in on their latest mission. One she was determined they would not fail in.

...

Grissom was right. All the progress Sara had made since being found disappeared that night. No matter how much he pleaded she refused to eat. She wouldn't talk to him about tomorrow either. She spent the evening telling stories, drawing and talking with Lucas, determined to make every moment count in case it was their last night together. If Lucas had noticed his mother was feeling uneasy he didn't say anything ad just accepted her need for close cuddles.

Once Lucas was asleep, Sara just lay down and stared at her son. Her back was to Grissom and if it hadn't been for the quiet cries she let out he would have thought she was asleep. Eventually he gave up trying to get her to talk to him and he joined her on the bed and wrapped him arms around her firmly letting her know she was not alone. Sara accepted the embrace and lent back into Grissom drawing on his comfort.

Finally Sara fell asleep but it was troubled. She kept twitching and crying out like she was trying to fight an attacker that was invisible to Grissom but very real to her. He knew what was going on since she had had nightmares like this on her first couple of nights in hospital. They had not completely gone since then but they were nowhere near as violent. He wished he could wake her up and end her torment but the doctor told him he should let her be. This was her mind's way of working through things.

...

The next morning the team along with Brass arrived at the hospital where they found their way up to Sara's ward again. Grissom met them outside and thanked them all for coming.

"How's Sara?" Greg asked in a concerned voice. He was especially jumpy this morning.

"She's holding it together. I thought I'd give her some private time with Lucas." Grissom answered.

They all nodded in understanding.

Just then the doctor they all were beginning to recognise as Sara's regular, Dr. Teeson, approached along with a young suited man who looked barely old enough to be out of college.

"Hello everyone, this is Mr. Stevens. I guess you all know why he's here." They nodded, and Brass and Warrick extended a hand for Mr. Stevens to shake. Nick didn't shake hand with the man, he didn't trust him or like him one little bit. Greg was too distracted and unsettled for pleasantries and Grissom and Catherine just gave the man small tired smiles.

Dr. Teeson led them all to a small conference room just off the hallway and left them to it.

The room had a small circular conference table in the middle, big enough for them to all sit around though. It was quite dark since it was in the centre of the building and had no windows so relied on artificial light. Nick didn't like it in here already, although his mood didn't make that difficult.

Once everyone was seated around the table Mr. Stevens started talking, "Thank you everyone for coming to speak to me and helping in this case. Let's get started. Gentleman to my right would you mind telling me your name?"

"Detective Jim Brass." Jim replied gruffly.

"Well Jim..."

"That's detective brass to you son."

"My apologies Detective Brass," the social worker said without much conviction. Mr. Stevens went around the room gathering everyone else's names before returning to Brass and asking, "How would you describe your relationship with Miss Sidle?"

This question threw the tough cop. He was expecting the question but he wasn't used to express his feelings, especially to strangers. He knew he had to convince this man Sara was safe with them though.

"Sara is a lovely girl," Jim admitted to an agreeing mumble around the room. "She's like a daughter to me," he then admitted in a quieter voice that was still loud enough to be heard.

"I understand," Mr. Stevens said kindly. 'Like hell you do' Jim thought but knew to keep his mouth shut.

"How did you deal with the news she was missing, Greg?" asked Mr. Stevens.

Greg looked down at the table trying to avoid eye contact with the man. "Badly," he whispered finally.

"How so?"

"I was in denial for a while I suppose. I was angry at myself. I felt like I should have done more. I stopped doing things I enjoyed, especially if they reminded me of Sara."

"So how do you think you will be able to help Sara through this ordeal if you couldn't even hold you self together, Mr. Sanders?"

This was Nick's limit. He had been trying his best to sit quietly and hold his temper in at this man who in his eyes wanted to hurt Sara more than she already had.

Now he couldn't help but yell, "Look here mister! Greg did hold it together. He hasn't broken down or given up on his life. He felt emotion for a lost friend, just like every single one of us here did. If I were you I would take that as a good sign. A sign that we care about her rather than a sign of weakness. What sort of friends would we be if we were okay with the idea that she was dead?!"

Nick sat back in his chair and sighed. He was glad that that was off his chest but he didn't like to think of the problems it may cause them when this man was deciding Lucas' fate. Mr. Stevens didn't react. He just looked down at his notepad with a small smile that made all the rest of the table's stomachs twist. Unbeknown to them, this was the exact reaction Mr. Stevens had been looking for. A sign they feel strongly for her and that she was more than a colleague.

"Okay then," he continued as if nothing had happened, "Mr. Grissom how would you say Sara is coping with her ordeal?"

"She is a very brave woman. She has been making large strides in her recovery both physically and emotionally. I believe with enough support she will be back to her old self in no time." Grissom answered calmly.

"Very well, Mr Grissom. Now, Ms. Willows would you agree with Mr. Grissom's opinion?"

"Definitely," she replied sharply. "She would be doing much better if she wasn't terrified her son was about to be taken from her though!"

Warrick took her hand and squeezed it in warning and as help to calm down.

"So would you say Miss Sidle will make a good mother, Miss Willows?"

"Of course she will. She has fought tooth and nail for him for two years even to the point where she has almost died. If that's not a sign of motherly love I don't know what is."

"Good, good."

The room was in silence for a moment as he wrote something else down on his notepad. He then continued, "If Miss Sidle is going to rely on you all there needs to be a lot of trust within the team. That obviously wasn't an issue before her kidnapping. She trusted you all with her life everyday and vice versa but now this happened. Does she blame any of you for what happened?"

This was the question that winded them. They wish they could say confidently that she did not blame them but despite Sara's reassurances that they weren't to blame every single member of the team believed that they were. Their silence was enough of an answer.

"Now why would she blame you all? You've made it clear you are her friends and that you will defend her. What happened? Mr. Brown, you've been quite quiet so far. Would you like to elaborate?"

"Sara says she doesn't blame us for this but we all feel guilty for it anyway. We were very close to finding her three years ago but we failed her."

"Well that would make anyone angry. I'll ask her for her input in the story later. What about the original kidnapping? Is there anyone here she would blame for that?"

At this question Catherine had to leave the room.

"I think this interview is over don't you think, son?" Brass growled.

"Okay, well thank you all for your input. I would like to talk to Miss Sidle now if that's okay?" Mr. Stevens asked.

Grissom gave a stiff nod and showed Mr. Stevens the way back to Sara's room. The others, including a teary eyed shaking Catherine who was being guided along by Warrick, followed knowing it was unlikely they would be allowed in the room while the interview was taking place but they wanted to nearby anyway, for moral support.

...

As the group walked up the corridor towards Sara's room they were greeted by a singsong sound and Dr. Teeson 'shhing' them with a wide grin on his face. It soon became evident what was going on. Sara and Lucas were singing. They all stopped outside, including Mr. Stevens, not wanting to interrupt the moment between mother and son.

(**Sara bold**. Lucas normal)***

**_As you go through life you'll see_**

_There is so much that we_

_Don't understand_

**_And the only thing we know_**

**Is****_ that things don't always go_**

**_The way we planned_**

**_But you'll see everyday_**

**_That we'll never turn away_**

_When it seems all your dreams come undone_

**_We will stand by your side_**

_Filled with hope and filled with pride_

**_We are more than we are_**

**_We are one_**

_If there's so much I must be_

_Can't I still just be me_

_The way i am?_

**_Can I trust in my own heart_**

**_Or am i just one part_**

**_Of some big plan?_**

_Even those who are gone_

_Are with us as we go on_

**_Your journey has only begun_**

**_Tears of pain tears of joy_**

**_One thing nothing can destroy_**

**_Is our pride deep inside_**

_We are one_

_We are one you and I_

**_We are like earth and sky_**

_One family under the sun_

**_All the wisdom to lead_**

_All the courage that you need_

**_You will find when you see_**

**_We are one  
_**_  
_...

There wasn't a dry eye in the group standing outside the door. At an appropriate moment after the two had stopped signing Dr. Teeson knocked and entered.

"Miss Sidle, is it okay if the social worker came in to talk to you?"

Sara just nodded and pulled Lucas closer as if that would stop them taking him away. The feeling of dread at the pit of her stomach was making her feel nauseous.

The young man and Grissom entered the room both trying to hide the fact they had been crying moments before. At Grissom's entrance the social worker tried to protest but Sara grabbed Grissom's arm making it perfectly clear Grissom was not going anywhere. Deciding there was no point in arguing the social worker relented.

"Hello, Miss Sidle. I'm Mr. Stevens. How are you today?"

Sara just shrugged.

"Please relax; I'm only here to help you and your son. From what I've heard from your friends here you have very little to worry about." Mr. Stevens smiled.

Sara looked to Grissom who was sitting beside her bed holding her hand. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and smiled telling her silently that things were going to be okay. Sara, feeling slightly calmer now, turned to face the social worker.

"So Miss Sidle, how do you feel you are coping in the aftermath of your ordeal?"

"Okay, I suppose. It's been difficult but everyone's been really supportive, especially Grissom."

"How would you describe your relationship with Mr. Grissom?"

"We've known each other a long time. He's a mentor, a friend and a soul mate."

"Would you call him your boyfriend?"

Sara hesitated, "I've never thought of it that way but I suppose the label fits." She smiled at the idea.

Mr. Stevens smiled too. It was nice seeing some families that could have some happiness when he was so used to seeing the broken ones. "Would you be living together after you left hospital?"

"Yes, we decided it would be best."

"Good I'm glad. How would you describe your relationship with the rest of the team?"

"I love them. They are like family to me."

"I'm glad you feel that way, they seemed to feel similarly. One issue that came up in the interview though, was that they blame themselves for what happened, Ms. Willows in particular. Do you blame them?"

Sara sighed, "No I don't blame them in the slightest. I hope they see that soon. I hate how much this has hurt them."

Originally Mr. Stevens planned to probe into this area more but it was obvious Sara's answer was genuine so he let it slide.

"I hope you and you're friends can move past this horrible chapter too. It is obvious you all care for each other a great deal. Do you mind if I speak to Lucas now for a moment?"

"Okay." Sara said, now worried again.

"Lucas?" Mr. Stevens asked. The boy looked at him.

"My name is Mr. Stevens but you can call me Adam. How are you today, Lucas?"

Lucas smiled, "I'm good. Grissom bought be a new colouring book this morning. Do you want to see?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure why not?" Adam replied.

"This is a picture of Captain America and this one is of the hulk. I had to use my entire green crayon on that picture but Mummy promised to get me a new one soon. You can't see the rest of the pictures yet though. I've not finished colouring it in so I don't want to ruin the surprise."

The social worker chuckled at the boy's enthusiasm, "That's lovely Lucas. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Okay, as long as I can ask you some too."

"Lucas, don't be cheeky," Sara chided.

This was definitely turning into one of the more unusual days at work for Mr. Stevens. "It's quite alright Miss Sidle. Go ahead Lucas. You can go first?"

"Why do you wear that suit? It looks uncomfortable." Lucas asked not looking up from the picture of Iron man he was now colouring in.

"I have to wear it. My boss says so."

"Well that's mean of him. Couldn't that money be spent better on something else?"

"You are quite right Lucas. I'll tell him that the next time I see him." He said, taken aback at the young boy's wisdom and insightfulness.

"Your turn."

"what?"

"It's your turn to ask a question." Lucas reminded him.

"So it is. Okay how about do you like your mum's friends?"

"Friends?"

"Yes, Mr Grissom and her other friends outside. Nick, Catherine, Warrick, Jim and Greg?"

"Oh them. Mum always said they are my family; they're my aunts and uncles. I like them lots. They are really nice to me and they make mummy happy again. Especially mister Grissom."

"Do you like mister Grissom?"

"No."

Sara's heart shuddered at Lucas' answer. Grissom's hold on her hand tightened.

"You don't like mister Grissom?"

"No, of course I like him." Lucas replied rolling his eyes. Sara and Grissom both let go of the breath they hadn't realised they were holding. "He's much nicer than Mr. Carter the other man who used to be around all the time. I meant to say no, it's my turn to ask a question. You can't ask two."

"Sorry Lucas that was my mistake. Ask away."

"What's your favourite ice cream flavour?"

"Strawberry." Mr. Stevens replied, bewildered by the boy's choice of question.

"Good choice." Lucas replied with a grin. "That's mine too. You should visit the ice-cream shop on the ground floor. Miss Emma there is very nice and the strawberry is amazing!"

"I'll keep that in mind, thank you. It's your turn again since I asked two."

Lucas put on his thoughtful face, trying to think of a good question. "Okay. Why are you asking me questions?"

"What?" Mr Stevens asked, caught off guard again by the bright toddler.

"I don't mind or anything. I'm just curious."

"Well I'm asking questions because I want to make sure you and you're mum are okay."

"Okay. You could have just asked me that to start with. Why do adults always make things so complicated?"

"Ah, you can't ask me that it's my turn." He said, thankful for the rule. He had no idea how to answer that.

Lucas rolled his eyes again. He obviously had some of his mother's feistiness. "You didn't have to answer. It was wihorical."

Mr. Stevens furrowed his brow confused at the boy's last remark.

Grissom stepped in, "Lucas, it's rhetorical, sweetie."

"Oh, sorry. I only learned that word yesterday. Uncle Nick explained it to me but he speaks funny so it's harder to understand him."

"Lucas, He is from Texas. He doesn't speak funny, he speaks with an accent, it's just different. Be nice." Sara told him but not in an angry tone.

"Funny is not a bad thing mum. I like the way he speaks."

Sara rolled her eyes at her son who always had an answer for everything. Now Mr Stevens could see where Lucas picked up his eye rolling habit.

"Okay, Lucas. Last question I promise. Are you happy?"

"Yes, Mr Adam I am."

"Well that's all that's important. You take care of your mum now okay."

Lucas nodded.

"Well Miss Sidle, you seem to have a very happy, clever and healthy boy here. I don't see why there would be any problem. I'll give you my card incase you need any advice but apart from that. Good bye and good luck."

"Thank you Mr. Stevens." Sara said sincerely.

"It's quite alright. Would you like me send your friends in?"

"Yes please, that would be great."

"I'll get right on that. Use them Sara, they care a lot about you." He said on a more serious note. He genuinely wanted this family to do well. They had tugged on his heart strings.

"I know." Sara replied with a wide grin. She was now slightly emotional.

Mr. Stevens nodded and left the room.

Sara pulled Lucas right up onto her chest and gave him the biggest bear hug she could. Lucas laughed but played along and it wasn't long until she had tugged Grissom into the hug too.

"We did it Grissom. Everything is going to be okay. Thank you."

"It was all you Sara and for the last time, call me Gil."

Sara chuckled, "It's going to take a while to get used to that."

Grissom smiled and tightened his hold on the two people he now cared for most in the world.

A small cough at the door broke the hug up. The gang all stood there with worried looks on their faces.

Catherine was first to speak. "He didn't say anything. Just that you wanted to see us. Is everything okay?"

Sara nodded and showed her trademark Sidle grin that everyone missed so much. "Everything is absolutely fantastic Catherine."

Everyone relaxed immediately at the news and one armed hugs and pats on the back were passed around the group.

"I'll let everyone go and get some sleep soon, I promise. I just wanted to say thank you. Not just for talking to the social worker but for everything you have done since I was found and for being such great friends and practically family." Sara said now with tears of joy rolling down her face.

"You're not going soft on us now are you sidle?" Nick asked jokingly.

"Of course not," she replied sticking her tongue out at him. Everybody laughed.

"Real mature, Sara." Greg teased.

"Whatever Greggo."

"Oh Sara," Catherine almost cooed. "It's so good to have you back" she said while wrapping her arms around the younger women.

Sara felt a tugging at her sleeve, followed by a younger voice. "Mummy, can I show everyone my new colouring book yet?"

...

AN.

Sorry if the grammar is bad but once again I have written well in to the night. It's taken me all day (and parts of a lot of other days) to write this so I wanted to get it up. I'll double check it tomorrow for any massive mistakes.

I don't normally put songs in stories because I don't find songfics that interesting. I'm going to be a hypocrite and put one here because it was playing in the background while I was writing this and I thought it sort of fit. Bold writing is Sara and normal is Lucas singing. The song is we are one from the lion king.


End file.
